learnings

  Crime has always fascinated me. During the pandemic I revisited Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie. I would also look for crime stories in the newspaper. In the last one-year cybercrime incidents have risen. Coincidentally, I got the opportunity to enrol for a Cyber Crime Intervention Officer (CCIO) training. It was very interesting. Being a Counsellor I had the opportunity to explore the mindset behind such crimes- of that of the criminal and the victim. The cyber world is still mysterious to most of us. How much do we even know about the Dark and Deep web? Like the poisonous legs of the tarantula spider, the dark web can be fatal. Being cooped up within the four walls, with no social interaction, so many intelligent minds were diverted. With just a smartphone and the Internet one can ‘do’ mindboggling stuff (legal and illegal). I learned that ethical hacking is a paradox. Children as young as the sixth graders are lured into coding by corporate educational giants. Left unsupervise

  Seeking attention is a primeval behaviour. The individual seeks validation or admiration from the other.  Attention seeking behaviour could be due to : Low self esteem- self esteem is a broad spectrum of the self. Basically it is how one views oneself; how one loves and respects oneself.  jealousy- where one is constantly comparing with another and feel threatened  loneliness- in the current scenario senior citizens often fall in this category. they feel isolated and left out amidst the rat race in whihc their wards and younger relatives are taking part. Apart from these basic causes, those who suffer from histrionic/narcissistic/  borderline personality disorder/  also exhibit Attention seeking behaviour. I was musing the other day that life is a paradox. When one is seeking attention it seems to elude!!    

  This is what the newspaper reported today. I am sure many would not have read it as climate and environment is not an exciting piece of news. Some would churn out philosophy- who knows what the future holds...  This is not the climate we grew up with. Whenever it rains out of context my heart does a twang..Some romanticise..Our farmers panic.  It is alarming throughout the globe.. The policy makers at Central and State need to think deeply andbring out effective changes in conservation.  Meanwhile as responsible citizens let us do our little bit by reducing ,recycling and reusing.. So do stop or pause before you shop, before you snip off the milk packets, before... For those who wish to read more on this do have a look here

 It is exciting how wonderfully technology works. One morning when my phone notified that I open whatsapp as the first pick up, it left me a tad embarrassed. It made me aware that I am opening whatsapp as soon as I open my eyes in the morning.  It has been a month now since I checked whatsapp first thing in the morning. So it was slow process. Initially I used to pick up the phone; pause and then keep it down. Now it is easier. It has also reduced the craving to check all the groups and messages. Above all I have reduced the frequency of response in most groups. I am quick in responding to messages addressed directly to me.  Overall it is has been satisfying..   

   You are behaving just like your mom.... is it a wake up call or a compliment? Often we come across such feedback.  A child begins to imitate its primary caregivers and gradually imbibes the behaviour of people they interact directly or indirectly with.  Albert Bandura's Social Learning theory talks of modelling/ imitating/imbibing from parents and environment. It is a powerful theory and a parenting tip. I have often asked in my sessions- how do you want your child to grow up to be? Live your life accordingly...  Every minute we are consciously/unconsciously enacting out what we have absorbed( from homes, outside, characters from the tv, celebrities..) in the same vein. Now is that not powerful? Can we not pause to reflect on our behaviour so as to improvise ourselves?

  I love cleaning up with water. I like to get wet and splashing it against surfaces.. I never feel tired when I work with water. It is so much fun and now I enjoy it as a mindfulness activity.Today it is such a precious commodity and neither can we find a clean waterbody in our country.. A tragedy created by us. I hope we can rectify this soon.

  It is not common to hear about celebs in Sports and film industry, earning in millions/billions trying to get sops and exemption from taxes.. There is no harm in requesting but to stop payment of tax; trying to evade payment for the luxury cars ( when one knows about the import duty) speaks of values/ethics going wrong.  Be it the common man or a celeb, ignoring the law or bifurcating for the sake of private hedonism is unpalatable and wrong. A common man is punished whereas the celeb gets away with twisted appeals and lesser fines/sentence.  I loved it when the judiciary commented on why clebes cannot be role models in real life... Today I was disappointed when I read another senior official ( for the sake of winning ) termed it as almost slander to the celeb.. Sigh I shall use this for moral science lesson next. OOps I forgot, moral science is now out of syllabus. So is this why my countrymen is rolling down the cliff? 

  I am a potted plant. I am being taken care of by my owner. She waters me; looks at me with love.. I offer my leaves for a herbal drink.  Would you mind not using me as a dustbin? Thank you.

  I am just so amazed with technology and the brains behind developing it. I keep misplacing my phone at home. When I would go hunting my mother would comment that it would be nice if we could shout to our phone. within a week my Alexa got updated and behold half the wish has come true.  Life is so much easier now. I just have to ask Alexa and my phone rings. Thank you to the brains behind this.

  Refreshing our perspective means we are constantly changing, learning and reflecting.. It is indeed a eureka moment when we refresh our perspective. Refreshing perspective adds deposit to our emotional bank account. It gives joy and brigns slivers of happiness. There is an added rhythm to life.. have you experienced this?

  A couple of recent incidents demarcate reality versus imagined reality.. Two celebrities have been given a rap by the Judiciary for wasting precious public time and also for the selfish appeals made.. One is a superstar hailed by the masses ( I seriously wonder why if acting were a criteria) who is paid crores for acting in a film. The film makes ten times the money on the very first day of release too. The star requires luxury vehicles for his personal use. No harm in this.. But he wants waiver of the import entry fee. Now how heroic is this? In every film he spews venom against the government.; wants to eradicate corruption; gives indication of a new governance etc.. in the reel life.. IN REAL life it is a sad story. Yet I wouldn't be surprised  if I see him in a place of power spiralled by fandom.   Is there a real hero in your life.. I have plenty to look up to.. Real men and women who have made an impact in my life directly and indirectly.. Thank you to those real humans..

  To change and to accept change is a challenge. I go through stages of self pity, self doubt and self love as I work through a challenge. The stages are brief in duration, not overwhelming. As I begin to accept the change remorse lingers, ego lingers.. it is a challenge. It is cathartic.  

  This morning in a social media group I had congratulated a young lady who has taken up an honorary position.. Congratulatory wishes poured in.. Till one person deemed such messages as 'spam'. It jolted everyone out of those brief moment of happiness.  English language has a name for such people- wet blankets.  It is often noted how people can be reluctant in wishing heartily or being genuinely happy for another.  I wonder of course what could have triggered the person in question. It gave me perspective of being more empathetic. We are work in constant progress. Self awareness literally can take a lifetime.. Why not begin with small steps? What is triggering me- is a fantastic question to ask oneself and get on to the path of self reflection.  My GSE(Rotary)trip to USA in 2000 made me awaken to a fresh perspective- of reaching out to others genuinely. It set me free. 

  My new domestic help walks in cheerily with a hibiscus stuck in her bun! She announces her arrival with a loud greeting and a naive smile. I am often amused.. This childlike behaviour has evaded me. Have I become stuck up?  Today I was playing RD Burman playlist on my Alexa. Icould not help singing with abandon. She was watching me. She shared that she loved listening to the songs.. Her childlike enthusiasm encouraged me to  dance to a few of the peppy tunes..  She giggled and mentioned it was good to seem away from my computer. Ah it felt good to just let go.. Thank you to this angel who goes around the house cheerfully doing the chores..

  This morning I had this question asked- why is it that some people who are smart/talented aren't high achievers? I narrated the tale of young Lincoln felling trees. It is a much quoted tale citing smart work vs hard work. So if we scratch the surface, we unravel layers.. Finally we act based on our thoughts. And if the thoughts stem from a superiority mindset, rather 'fixed mindset' then we get the answer for the question- why do we 'do' or 'don't do'!  The fixed mindset inhibits being proactive and productive. As a favourite superstar mentioned once,' once I say I KNOW, it is the end...'

  The West is seriously considering comfort wear for the coming Hybrid Workplace. I think we ought to seriously consider this comfort quotient especially for men. When I think of Africa- Nelson Mandela, the bright African printed shirts come to mind. We have a rich tradition of colours, textures and print. We need not do away with 'western' formals or semi formals. we could still have a few sets when we have to talk to foreign clients or for other official purpose.Rest of the year why not wear materials and designs that are very local and ethnic. That our Indian wear does not look 'smart' --- still looms large.. The reason why the word 'local' is unappetising or mentioned derogatorily is the hangover of the colonial mindset.. So many years and the British snobbery continues. when we scratch our backyard we realise how much it has seeped into our consciousness. it is ridiculous to still have school uniforms, office wear totally western. Even more ridiculous are t

  I fell in love with this image.Thank you @jangand fox. A lot of young parents are experiencing anxiety in these times as they have to entertain their wards, play multiple roles of being parent, teacher and friend. Go easy on yourselves, dear parents, allowing your child to day dream, laze, think and play for themselves too.. In simple pleasures lie great investment of time...

  My battle with drinking water is easing only now.  I have had several reasons for not drinking water: 1. I hardly sweat. 2. I will 'know' when to drink. ( even after a walk/gym I would hardly drink) 3. I drink other fluids 4. Articles based on confirmation bias. 5. There are 'harmless' herbal medicines- so easy to have... I had a wakeup call about two years ago. I was getting dependent on the alternate medication. A young friend remarked,'you have very dry feet'. (yes I have always had). So cumulatively I had known but not taken care to be aware and mindful of this. Then began my journey of having attractive bottles, tumblers etc all to remind me to drink water.  I did not want to be dependent on any sort of medication. Even herbal or alternative medication will have its side effects built up gradually. What helped me was when my body so beautifully responded to my water intake.. My metabolism began to work better. I rejoiced. I love my body and myself. I shal

  This may sound very weird to many of you.. My landline phone rang! The call was for me.. I was surprised because only my spouse makes a call if my cell phone chooses not to respond due to weak signal. So hearing a female voice asking for me sounded incredulous. It was my classmate from Delhi. I hooted with joy at the unexpectedness of her calling me and that too on my landline.. I was actually thrilled.. Brought back nostalgia.. Of course she wasn't aware that she had this number stored under my name..  This number was chosen with care by my father. We were privileged to have the first landline phone with STD and ISD in our street. Neighbours would come to make or receive calls. As with any technology, this phone was not available easily; it took months to get one and calls were expensive. One particular neighbour would make STD calls without informing us. It was annoying and embarrassing because the calls were expensive. We could actually use physical locks or use a number lock.

  We internalise our learnings.. why do we do so?? how do we do so? Read  here

  With great fascination I read an article on these otherwise ignored insects. I also watched a brief video on cicadas by Sir David Attenborough.. here . 17 years they live underground. At the end of 17 years they magically surface from beneath on to the surface; they signal their arrival by their deafening orchestra.. They live for a very short while, mate, lay eggs and die.. in their death they leave behind themselves to make the soil richer in nutrients. How humbling.. they just be.. they just do.. As the most intelligent species we complicate our lives with our own meta cognition.. Can we just be.. just do... Try it out.. it is a huge release.. as I practise this, I gain more peace.. I have a lot more to learn and evolve. 

  Hey Flipkart I am fed up with your emails spamming my inbox.. may I know which genius designed the 'unsubscribe' feature? It is the most annoying feature now.. I have tried (for months)to unsubscribe, yet the very next morning before the sun rises, the flipkart mail is in my inbox..  Repeated attempts to unsubscribe has failed.. Incidentally Gmail that has a fantasti spam/junk box fails before flipkart..  For the past few months I have tried every single way to unsubscribe and push it deep down the spam drain.. No avail.. It magically appears..  This has STOPPED me from even checking out your platform... You have lost one customer..forever.. 

  It is with a heavy heart that I pen these lines.. My friend succumbed to COVID this morning.. He had just turned 60. It is a recent friendship. He was part of the Training fraternity I worked with.. For he's a jolly good fellow--- that was him.. In floral printed shirt, glinting eyes and a big grin he won all of us over.  In the last two weeks that he was at the hospital, I connected with him. He was unable to speak. I sent him voice messages.. I wanted to do something to cheer him up. I asked him if I could read a story or a poem.  It is thanks to him that I revisited the poems I grew up learning at high school. With great excitement I found my favourite poems.. and I read them out.   I am grateful to you my friend.. you kept inspiring me till the last minute.. May you rest in peace.. 

  With a heavy heart I read about the arrest of Sushil Kumar- two time Olympian wrestler.. He is just 38 and is arrested for assaulting and murder of his 23 year old student..  We associate discipline and sportsmanship with sportsmen..Time has proven several times that many have risen and fallen in the same speed.  Lack of self regulation---- has smeared the reputation of the wrestling federation, my country's , demolished the hearts of so many aspiring youth...destroyed families and lives.

  Today, after ages, my family sat down for an impromptu breakfast together... It was a simple meal yet so wonderful.. We sat down together, enjoyed the meal and chatted casually about the crispiness of the vadai, the tasty coconut chutney and the steaming coffee all served hot by our ever smiling cook..  I was amazed at the joyful feeling and  the wonder that coursed through me.. We are just three members and we eat at different times.. The only meal I try to have together is the sunday lunch with my spouse.. My mother does not join.. So this was a special morning.. Mom, spouse and myself sat and had a meal together...  Such a satiated feeling it left in me and I shared this happiness with few others.. it struck me how much we miss out these little moments in our daily life... It is indeed a privilege and blessing to have meals together... happiness lies in  such moments.. 

  I am reading the 15th chapter in the book titled Caste by Isabel Wilkerson....  I also watched the film Karnan- a recent tamil movie.. it is a slow burn film.... I am thankful I watched the movie after reading Caste by Wilkerson...  I was able to put things into perspective. It is so amazing to note how a writer in the US has drawn parallels with the caste system here and in her country... Using facts , history and geography she has put things into a wonderful narrative... The film and the book indicate 'muscle memory'. Wilkerson says  1. how the oppressed and the oppressor have behaved culturally over generations.. So much so that the servility of the oppressed is taken for granted.. This is so relevant here and is pointed out in the film-- the protagonist reminds the cop how the latter got angry with the 'steadfast gaze'  'standing tall'  by the oppressed men brought to the police station.. These were not criminals.. just a few village elders.. Particularly

  Zoom tempts me back to using its portal.. Now Zoom has the 'blur' facility which was first offered by Google Meet.  It is one of the most useful features for obvious reasons.. I have yet yet mastered how to keep my outline from dancing or bobbing when I use a background image.. Lately I discovered the video filters, where one can have the eyebrows made up and lips tooo!!  it is so cool. Zoom has made it many steps easier.. The reluctance to put on makeup for an official call no longer exists. Thank you Zoom... I would now love it if Zoom could bring dress filters like having a jacket on for official purpose..And hairstyle too.. 

  Each time a game occurs I am learning to respond better.. Yet there is that dull feeling that lingers when I choose to respond. I feel good a little later and even appreciate myself over the response chosen.. The intensity and frequency of my 'reactions' have dulled over the years.. Still that dull feeling lingers... will this fade away? yes i am sure.. What about you?

  When I am not able to decipher your expression or mood or emotion then I know the game has begun. Being a verbally expressive person, I feel exasperated when you/he/she throws a stone wall.  Earlier I had the bandwidth to discuss or decipher. Now I do not have. Especially in these difficult times when there is so much of grief and sorrow outside, what we can do to help is keep each other's spirits up within the walls of one's home..  Is that too much to expect....

  'I am moody, mamma,'...said a 3 year old while on a hike... It helped immensely, for his mother swooped down to carry him till his mood lightened. They continued their walk peacefully. The scenario may be very cute. Behind this are hours of hard work put in by the parents especially the mother. She has been relentless in how she communicates with the child.  Guiding a child to express one's feeling helps the child and the parent. For this the parents have to accept that their child has a mind of its own.  Once feelings are expressed, managing the feelings becomes a step easier... 

  Covid Vaccine hesitancy   I would recommend this particular video.  Thanks to  alearningaday for posting about this video.  I am no expert. Yet from what is gathered from affected families of close friends - doctors are truly wondering why the concerned family has not vaccinated ... Vaccinated means you are 80 percent safer' lesser need for that 'bed' which can be used by a needier person..  Patients are sitting around, lying around on hospital floors- first hand information from affected members.  My friend's husband kept postponing; so did my friend.. now they are feeling dismal.. she ran from pillar to post for an icu bed..  the private ambulance fleeced her as the govt ambulances were not available. She managed to get a bed in a hospital endorsed by her community and went in with some recommendation..  Yet another friend says she understands the pain but is not vaccinated as yet. It has not stopped her from helping others etc etc.. Philosophy and religion and alt

  In my fortnightly call with my friend from overseas, he paused to ask me, how are you doing?.. slow and measured.... From the minute we are online, I have no difficulty in conversing in full speed. There is so much to share. Yet each time I am asked, ... I pause in my mind... how am I actually doing..  I find it difficult to look into the eye; I struggle for a few seconds.. Later at night as I reflected over the question I muse on the power of this simple question... to enquire of the well being of another and also as a self reflection.

  The sense of smell is most valued in today's pandemic. While chatting with my daughter in law I heard of an acquaintance who had lost her sense of smell due to Covid 19. It was also a time when the wildfire was ravaging California. There was an instance when someone had to get her out because she could not smell the fire close home.  How terrifying! Did we even associate the 'sense of smell' with life-saving?   The bitter coffee seeds emit such a lovely sense- altering fragrance hence they are used in perfumes stores. We whiff at a perfume; inhale the coffee seed aroma and move to the next. So what did you stop to smell today? Can we be mindful to acknowledge this wonderful gift we have? Can you pause to inhale a fragrance? 

  I have this book. I picked it up at one of the book fairs held annually. I used to enjoy my pilgrimage to the book fair. It required some planning depending on where the fair was held. I would always ask one particular friend (Anand) if he could join me. Both of enjoy hoarding books and reading them at pleasure. We have exchanged books and thus ended up reading plentiful. I say with some embarrassment that we do have books that we have not read and they sit prettily waiting for us to devour them. The thought that the books are there give us both a sense of joy. We have also visited the book fair to just browse through.  One of my favourite stalls at the book fair is the Sahithya Academy stall. I enjoy browsing through the small 'English' collection. The books are hardbound and smell from an ancient era. It was during one such visit that I had picked up some books of author Manoj Das. Shri Manoj Das passed away at the ripe age of 87, due to cancer, on April 27th this year. The

  How magnificent is sleep. A fantastic pause button, memory button, reset button, a normalcy button. A huge button indeed.  I snapped this morning. I was feeling irritable and hungry. Low in energy and so pessimistic.. I hadn't slept till the wee hours of the morning. It happens once in a while where I toss and turn.. I will be resetting myself with a good dollop of sleep.

  I am continuing to keep myself upgraded on the Growth mindset list when I read - Scout mindset blog -  (Thank you Rohan for reading and sharing your learnings) about this..  So insightful especially in these times. Whatsapp is playing with our confirmation bias. I am trying my best to not sink in the mire. The scout mindset resonates especially that I have actually been part of the NCC_National cadet Corps ( similar to girl scouts during my undergrad).   Constant reminders help provided we are on the lane of growth mindset- an openness to learning and change with it.

Feeling 'meh' -   I was reading this article from Quartz news. It struck me how many of us go through such days of feeling 'meh'. We feel a lethargy; a sense of dullness; no motivation to kick up our creative juices; just languishing.. Some of us are blessed to have our lives pacing on, with a job, food on the table in this pandemic. Yet the social connect is missing; travel is missing; the new normal is still sinking in.. the fear of the unknown lurks!

 I celebrate festivals in a different manner. I do not enjoy cooking so I usually buy the traditional food. I share the food with my domestic helpers. Rituals are most basic to me. I used to enjoy celebrating when my son was growing up. Now it's all about comfort and convenience.  I however enjoy calling up my cousins and elders who are in my native place, Kerala. The calls are peppered with warmth, laughter and joy. I am grateful for this.  On this Vishu (new year) day the young ones receive pocket money called 'kai neetam' . My cousin and I remembered how our older uncles would give a new shiny ONE rupee coin, while the youngest Uncle would give a new five rupee note. My summer vacation was filled with fun and pocket money. Today I spoke at length with my peramma. Peramma is how I call my aunt- aunt who is married to my dad's older brother. Sadhi Peramma was married to my uncle (26) at the mere age of 13. It is always shocking to me when I hear her recount the days. M

  Food is so personal to each of us depending on our demographics. Food is the first 'item' with which we punish or celebrate life.  In my personal life I have known family members giving up certain foods for varied reasons.  I am deeply grateful for the food I get to eat. If I feel like eating a delicacy/mundane stuff I do not hesitate to make it for myself or ordering it for myself.  I do not need a reason. I love life and hence my love for food.

  Seth Godin has so beautifully explained the difference in his  blog . 

  A client mentioned he had begun hearing a voice in the head. Sometimes the voice got so loud that he had to run out of the house. Sometimes it was like a good friend. Mostly it was manipulative. Have you heard voices in your head? It is an auditory hallucination. Interestingly most of us hear voice sometime or the other in our lifetime. for some of us it is the voice of our conscience guiding us.  for some it may be positive while for some it may be a critical, negative, manipulative voice.  Some experience during a phase of life; some live with it; for some it is situation related. Auditory hallucination is pretty common Usually when we hear of someone complaining about hearing voices we immediately wonder if it is schizophrenia or a psychotic disorder.  Auditory hallucination can occur without any mental condition too. Auditory hallucination is different from intrusive thoughts. we hear thoughts in our own voice usually.  There are several reasons for auditory hallucinations, menta

  I was biding time to go at noon to cast my vote. I wanted to avoid the crowds. However I left on hearing that the my street's booth was practically empty. The process was so smooth and well organised. Really impressive. due to the pandemic, more centres have been opened; ladies and gents were assigned separate booths. I came out in less than a minute.  The EC has a mammoth task to ensure a free and fair election. It is a thankless job too.Mostly school teachers and govt officials are accorded the most basic amenities to perform their duties. The para military and police do such a great task in taking care of the discipline. In spite of the numbers and the dreaded heat they are so courteous. They literally sit on the those dirty floors to have lunch. Timing was extended this time as one hour  was kept aside for Covid patients to cast vote.  Election campaigning and now the counting of votes- it is like a festival here. All would be glued to the media for all the melodrama.  I love

  One of the most common complaints from parents is that their child is 'addicted' to video games.  I would prefer to use the term 'overuse'  than 'addicted'. Let us look at the ingredients that make the video game a success: 1. fun 2. competence is challenged 3. hangout with peers or related company 4. positive feedback Research says that when the child's basic psychological needs aren't met at home/school; for the adult it would be home and work- the person would be drawn to playing video games.  A person experiences challenges, gets positive feedback, hangs out either alone or in virtual company of similar interests. The person feels connected and part of a fraternity. when his psychological needs like relatedness/belongingness; autonomy and competence are met he is obviously drawn to play. And if fun is added to these elements why is it not a surprise? Like in Maslow's hierarchy of needs unless a person's basic needs are met heshe cannot elev

  This syndrome is not listed in the DSM manual. This was discovered by two psychologists in the 1970s.  Here one feels empty, fake or phony inside. it is interesting to note that it is a malaise of high achievers. One feels very doubtful of oneself and one's achievements- there is the inability to evaluate or assess one's competence and skills. There is a tendency to attribute success to external factors. most importantly such people set very challenging goals and feel disappointed when things go wrong. the common outcomes are either t anxiety or depression.  Such people also are so terrified by their thoughts that they cannot confide in anyone especially since they are high achievers and would be in high positions.  It would be helpful to talk to a Counsellor/ therapist because the negative thinking, self-doubt and self sabotage can have effect on many areas of your life.  

  I love reading. I have always found time for a book amidst all my busy periods in life too. Since my lasik surgery, reading hasn't been too comfortable. My cataract surgery has helped a bit though.  Yet I do not hesitate to pick up a book. I enjoy my walk to the library once in a fortnight. The ritual of picking out books, debating which ones to bring home is sacred. The sight of the books lying around at home, gives me great pleasure.  I have a Kindle too. But the game changer has been the Audible app. My son has extended its membership to me. he has a great collection of nonfiction. Sometimes I download books that are available on credit. I enjoy listening to dramatised versions of classic literature.  So I read fiction and I usually listen to non fiction. I listen to fiction when I need to quieten my mind and get ready to sleep.   The Kindle hasn't mesmerised me as yet. 

  Whatsapp is huge in my country especially among my generation. It has become integral to our communication. Yet it is interesting to note how less personal communication is. Since ancient times, my fellow countrypersons are known for their gupshup, tea shop banter, coffee house musings, harmless unproductive noisy chatter. It is also fascinating how this has been transferred onto digital/ virtualmedia as 'forwards'.  Yet there is a difference. When we sit across each other and in a public space, we are far more conscious of our actions and words. Behind the 'cloud' we gain a powerful gargantuan ego. Or we develop the ostrich stuck with its head in the pot ego. Empathy, conscious action, apology have taken a beating. I got aware when some of my forwards were questioned or a different perspective was brought forth. I have learnt to be more conscious before clicking on the forward button. I am still learning.  . 

My nephew called up the other day very excited that he had received his first pay. I felt very proud to know that he had thought of saving up a small percentage from it. It got me thinking how a young boy who is living abroad amidst so much of distractions and attractions even thought of saving.   We keep hearing of people of all age groups, globally, who overspend. It amazes me constantly to observe such people who maintain a lifestyle where they keep up with the Joneses.  It is not the lack of financial planning skills. There is a psychology behind it. There are several factors: 1- could be lower self esteem/ over confidence/inferiority complex 2- I deserve it script- reinforced by parents who spoiled/pampered them while growing up. 3. Parenting style - poor role models and numerous other factors. Their logical brain shuts down when the wealth signals light up. The animal brain tells that it is a matter of survival   when it comes to money and comparing ourselves to those around us. 

  I love to watch my neighbour paati (grandmom) chatting on her cellphone every morning. Paati visits her son (my neighbour) every few months. When she is here , the window is open and I get a little peek into her daily activities. A calendar comes up on the window. She stands at the window and chats with her relatives. Her conversations are tinged with affection. Then her son walks in for a quick chat.  I don't have to peep or look in. In fact I dont- just a glimpse. But the sounds are comforting (I don't bother to listen but enjoy the sound) that there are people next door; conversations tinged with mundane activities and affection.  As I sit sipping on my hot coffee I feel good. when paati goes off to stay elsewhere, the window is closed and it is a cold emptiness.