learnings

 Kuppu came to our house when she was abandoned by her husband. She had made it to the city with her father and her one year old son. She stayed on to work for us for more than two decades. A keen observer she learnt various chores and tasks easily. She took on new tasks cheerfully and happily welcomed guests into our home.She tinkered with gadgets and got them to work too.  My father helped her to open a bank account and she meticulously saved pennies. Being ambitious she groomed her son well. He is now an engineer working at the BMW factory. So she has now left work and lives with her son. Once in a year she comes to stay with us. She takes over the house and it is smooth sailing thereafter. I obviously do not have to lift a finger. She pampers us thoroughly. I am grateful for this. As I watched her clean the house, it dawned on me that she took pride and ownership of whatever task she was entrusted with. This sets her apart from others. 

 The other evening I was on a walk along with my spouse. I like to walk along with someone else. I am motivated. When I walk alone I tend to cut short my walk. He is a morning person and myself an evening person, hence our schedules do not match. I have tried to walk with friends but haven't been consistent. Yet I strive to walk almost every weekday. I have read so much about exercise giving off serotonin. Where is my quota? Why do I not get that invigorating feeling?  Yet I shall walk... Maybe i need to examine my goal.   

 A friend had sent a forward that spoke of waking up to see another day; and that one would be better than what one was the day before.. I usually do not respond to forwards. Most often I merely glance and ignore. This was a beautiful forward from a lovely friend of mine. I took time to read and immediately responded too. Indeed the mere act of waking up is a miracle. And in these times if we wake up at home, without any machine or tubes hooked up then it is a greater miracle indeed.  We all know a lot. Yet such reminders make life more meaningful. Reminded me of Kent Keith’s poem:  People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centred; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnig

 In her early years of marriage she noticed bruises and wondered how they came about. She didn't remember knocking against anything. She reasoned that since her pace of walking was fast and because she was plump the fat must have cushioned the knocks. Till her husband began to notice and vented out his suspicious nature on her. She was appalled at the accusations. He would then abuse her leaving her battered. Poor thing suffered. In spite of being educated she assumed it was a norm in marriage, maybe she deserved it, she couldn't tell her parents etc etc.  The bruises were not a regular occurence. A few decades later and after her second marriage to a health care professional she was told  casually that it could be a vascular issue like purpura/ ecchymosis or petechiae. Her first shock was that he was so casual. There was no suspicion of any other kind. Ah. it was a revelation. The bruise like spots come occasionally thigh or upper arm. Small,no pain with purple-blue discoloura

 I finished watching the latest season of The Crown. I was particularly impressed by how practical and common was the life of the British PM. Margaret Thatcher's character was essayed well. I noticed how she was at ease baking a pizza or dishing out dinner not only for family but also for her team- all by herself. Meanwhile I have begun watching Borgen a Danish series featuring a woman PM. There are some beautiful scenes in this series. Again no frills in their homes. She is seen doing some chores ( much lesser of course with husband doing most of the work). Reflections of their society.  I compared this with the lifestyle here portrayed in films and series. Amusing. can't imagine any politician living like an average citizen. 

 With excitement I opened my Sanskrit textbook to study. I was amused that I had begun to look at the book keenly as the exam is approaching. As I began to understand the concepts I was filled with euphoria. Ah that eureka feeling is so blissful. I reminisced. My exams during school days were to please my parents. Or else I would be caned for low marks. And of course I got caned a lot. 😁😁 In college exams were again done to avoid arrears. My PG exams ,again at the last minute, were done for the sake of sustaining my career.  Today I am taking up my text to study as I view it a challenge to memorise ( ah yes lots to... ) and the thrill of facing an exam. Competing with myself finally. 

 Last couple of days two rape incidents have been reported. Both happened inside temple premises.  By the time we educate the masses on humanism it would be decades and it still may not guarantee 100% safety for the physically weak. Indeed from children to females to LGBTQ members- whoever is physcially weak due to age or muscle mass have been bullied and abused.  Till then it is imperative that public spaces be well lit, cameras be installed and security guards posted.  The police department ought to open up recruitment. The Hindu Religious Endowment Office should be help responsible for safe premises and a corrupt free administration. Since all the above may never come to light, why not have an encounter? I guess only fear may cripple the balls ( pun intended) Hopefully!!

 We have all heard of Post Traumatic Stress. Stress is the negative consequence while Growth is a positive consequence of trauma.  This evening while having an intense discussion with a young friend of mine we spoke of Post Traumatic growth- PTG. I had heard of this term recently and had loved it. PTG does not reduce the ugliness of trauma or the struggle we face post trauma. Rather it symbolises our inner strength in emerging from the darkness. In our own unique way we grow stronger and keep growing better. The struggles become our platform to jump towards the light. PTG changes our perspective; brings in empathy and makes us appreciate life more. We become learners for life.  

A recent incident got me angry. I wanted to lash out. Instead I paused. I gave some thought on why I got angry. I accepted my anger; experienced the hurt I felt; the blood gushing and my heart beating fast when I thought back on the incident. I did not sweep aside nor reject. This morning my anger had dulled. I reflected. A deep exhalation and I let go of some more of the little anger left behind.  By evening I felt better. It wasn't occupying my thoughts.  Now at night I more amused at the whole incident and my reaction towards it.  I hope to work towards reducing my reactive anger this year.