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Showing posts from 2022

Quiet quitting..ambition..personality..

 Within  months of reading several articles raving about quiet quitting, I read a recent one with amusement. A journalist  had interviewed a recruiter going by the pseudonym Justin. Justin cut back his working hours and and could be practically called the 'father' of quiet quitting concept.  6 months later the journalist caught up with him and found out that Justin has now taken a different stance. He is putting in 50 hours a week. The reasons were several- job market coo ling off, recession etc.  I was reminded of a conversation I had with my son. I use articles (confirmation bias) and research surveys to my advantage when suited. My son pointed out the flimsiness of my arguments. Theories and research surveys will come and go. We ought to know what would suit us, our personality, our value system and our needs. This applies to our personal and professional front.  The concept of quiet quitting has always been there. It has the fancy label now. As a Professional, loyalty, comm

Manikarnika- cremation ghat at Varanasi

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  At 11.00 pm three of us women were dropped off at the main road. We walked through very narrow dark alleys to reach the ghat.  A friend of mine suggested we visit at midnight. Not nearly midnight but we made it. Very bravely we went through the maze of alleys; fortunately for us we met one odd or soul or the other who guided us. When we reached the cremation area we found only men there- some were selling logs of wood for the cremation; some were tonsuring their heads ( a ritual followed during death ceremony) and some were seated staring into the sky or at us. One chap was selling tea. One chap offered to give us the 'guide' know how of the place. Politely declining and ignoring the looks we climbed up the stairs- yes there is this three storied building with huge furnaces where the cremation is done. The electric crematorium is also housed here. We climbed up to get a closer look. We could not take the fuming heat. We stood; observed a few seconds of silence, staring into t

Mukthi Bhavan at Varanasi- the enlightenment homestay

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  I visited Mukthi Bhavan out of sheer curiosity. I am glad I did. It helped me remove a lot of misconceptions too. This place is otherwise known as the Death Hotel.  It does sound morbid. But a visit to this place removes all such thoughts and feelings. I was greeted very politely at their office. I was directed inside to meet with one of the caretakers who was dressed in white kurta and dhoti.  It is an old haveli with ten rooms. It is managed smoothly by the Dalmia trust.  It welcomes people on their death beds- especially those who are terminally ill. The dying person must check in with a family member. The are checked in for two weeks. The room is given free along with cooking utensils and an LPG gas cylinder. Usually families stay in one room; very rarely if they are big in number they take up two rooms. The family is expected to take care of their daily chores. All help is rendered to achieve the last wishes of the dying person. I heard of one person wanting to meet his sibling

Revive Fit- a gym for Apple watch users in Chennai

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  My journey to fitness began at this unobtrusive gym. I began with trepidation. I had too many fears within- would my body withstand? would my knees go for a toss? what if I overwork and collapse? and above all I hate the ache of sore muscles. So I specified that I wasn't here for weight loss.  Revive Fit began as a popular physiotherapy centre owned by a very humble and soft spoken Keshav Tantri. A fitness module was gradually included due to popular demand.  My initial 3 months was a gradual entry into endurance and stamina building.  During the  next 3 months, my trainer, a young enthusiastic and passionate learner (Jai) took it upon himself to get a few of us hooked to tech-fitness.  A group of young women using Apple watches had formed a group to challenge and compete. Now I am a beneficiary of the regime too. Jai, sensing their motivation and grit, began to familiarise with the varied fitness workout features in Apple watch. He has begun to create fantastic work out routines

Korean rom com... 💓💖💗💘💖

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  I began watching period drama initially on Netflix- European, British and Oriental. I got hooked on with Korean stories- both period and modern.  Ah theses rom com series are just perfect. They are  mushy mushy and mushy, with soulful songs, beautiful landscapes, cuteness overloaded, costumes and make up that one could gaze upon, lot of appetising food scenes, families and friends thrown in, have scenes that tug at your heart... that lingering feel good dreamy after effect..... I do not miss my Mills& Boon any longer (😂). 

Dreams and Gratitude- concluded

 I am continuing with the dreams/stories gathered by the recent interaction I had with a group of young working adults.  Their stories stirred my soul. One person began his career as a car driver. Today he stands proudly among the engineering graduates wearing formals and working in the IT sector. He said his dream is to travel with his family to different parts of India. His most adventurous trip was when he had to take a customer to two neighbouring states within 36 hours. He spoke with such excitement that he visited Hyderabad and Bangalore in such a short interval. Yet another person mentioned he wanted to build a house for his parents. One youngster is determined to go on a long bike ride from Chennai to Kanyakumari.  Beautiful dreams and beautiful people. Once again it was so humbling to listen to each one of them.  I am grateful they shared their stories with me. 

Dreams and gratitude -part 1

 A recent interaction with a group of young adults left me so humbled. Time and again we need reinforcements to weave through life. Reinforcements to satiate the physique, the mind and the soul! They shared some of their dreams and unforgettable moments.  One mentioned that his unforgettable moment was his travel in a VOLVO 'luxury' bus from his native to the city of Chennai. His eyes lit up as he explained to me the 'smooth' ride, the comfort of the luxury bus, the excellent braking system and the experience of sleeping on such a bus. The pace of his speech increased and he was so excited. His dream is to travel by various forms of transport- the train, ship and the aeroplane.  It was a humbling moment for me. A gratitude reminder for the privileges I have experienced and experiencing.

Cover your mouth when you yawn- please!

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  Every time I walk into a room of people- young / old, it is getting more and more difficult to see a person cover one's mouth while yawning.  I wonder why this etiquette is not taught from kindergarten. It is good manners to cover one's mouth while yawning. 1. Yawning is contagious 😅  2.  You are exposing your teeth, gums and tongue which aren't a pretty sight and most probably not smelling of flowers (sic) 3. You do not present a pretty/handsome sight when you don't cover your mouth while yawning. There can be other reasons but why ponder or debate when it is just about good manners. I picked it up early during my school years. My teachers would constantly remind us. It is so ingrained into me that I now take up the mantle of passing the info to whomever I come across. Sorry folks do cover up!😀

The Nambi effect- salute to all the scientists of India

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  Kudos to Madhavan for giving us this film. Rocketry stirs and shakes up our soul. The actor has been brilliant in his endeavour. A complex subject brought forward to relate to the common man is no easy job.  This is a MUST WATCH. I hope all the governments screen it to the youth and inspire them to stoke their scientific temper.  In general we, the average citizen, does not remember or give a thought to the brilliant minds behind research. Doing research in our country with limited funds is a heartless vocation. Salute to all the past and present scientists. Thank you. Nambi Sir I truly bow to you. 

80's songs and nostalgia of a forgotten summer vacation

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  My son has gifted me a wonderful SONOS speaker. I have added Spotify to my list of streaming channels. I am listening to songs from the 80's. Some hindi songs evoked memories of beautiful vacations I used to take to my native Kerala. My extended cousins who grew up in Madhya Pradesh would come down too. They were fluent in Hindi and spoke more of it than our mother tongue. It was exciting for me to practise my Hindi. Though it was my second language at school, I hardly got to speak in Chennai.  I used to enjoy translating some of it to the elders around when they couldn't understand my north walla cousins. We would meet almost every day, cavort around the narrow paths in between the paddy fields to go from one uncle's house to another's. We would hum some of the popular songs (listening now) as we walked. Playing the local hide and seek, cycling, eating raw mangoes with salt and chilli powder, hungrily gobbling up our aunt's yummy food.... ah those were the days. 

Montana and V Anand

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  A recent visit to a a small souvenir shop in a quaint part of Montana revealed a sentimental connect. The shopkeeper, a Russian, on knowing that I was from Chennai asked me if I had heard of Vishwananthan Anand. My answer being obvious he wanted to test if I was fooling around. He mentioned casually about Anand playing tennis is it not. Hearing my emphatic No he smiled. He is a professional chess player and was a fan of Anand. I felt so proud that Anand was remembered with fondness so far away from his homeland. Today a Chess carnival is on in my city- the city of V Anand. Yet I find him featured minimally in the State's official welcome song for the event. I hardly saw any picture of Anand associated with the event. Politics above genius! 

College years

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It is disconcerting to learn  from final year undergrads that they have practically nothing to write under certificates/ extracurricular and memberships. Out of 60 students hardly ten fill out up these criteria.  One can see the worry writ large on their faces as placements near.  I remembered my college days. I was a proud member of the NCC- National cadet Corps. My college's system was that we had to make a choice to join either NSS/NCC.  In spite of having loads of fun we managed to have a balance between academics and activities.  So why are engineering students in this situation? Who is to blame- the system or students? Students will always want to have only fun. So should the system not ensure some form of accountability? 

Ranveer Singh in 'hot' water?

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  A 'male' files a complaint against the 'hot' actor Ranveer Singh for posing nude. The actor has done a series of  decent nudes.  He has been trolled and several memes have come out.  Of course the trolls and memes are from other males! of course!! How does a male file a petition claiming Ranveer is hurting women's sentiments! Sorry Sir, dont you realise we arent. We are quite enjoying his latest pics.😀😂😃😃😄.  Please file complaints against rapists being let off after a short sentence; against the police constable who impregnated a 16 year old; against the ppl who have questioned a Dalit girl daring to go to school. Please do not block the channels of judiciary with your moral policing. We - the WOMEN- are perfectly capable of addressing our sentiments. Please allow the judiciary to use their precious time on issues that really needs intervention.

The need for appreciation and encouragement

During a recent interaction with 20 and 21 year olds it was with a very heavy heart that I heard the following : Ma'am this is the first time a teacher has encouraged me. ( This was because I had encouraged him to speak in front of the class and had some kind words for him!) Ma'am I have never been noticed in school or college ( a very shy student) Ma'am thank you for appreciating me. I will not forget you ever. My heart ached for these students. Such precious years gone without being appreciated/encouraged/ noticed.  Just as food, air and water is fundamental for our survival,  for us to thrive and develop we need to belong, to feel secure, we need to be appreciated and noticed.  A few kind words go a long long way. What would help is to make it a habit to look for positives in the other. 

Outsourcing jobs

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  I have a workshop coming up. I have personal commitments and I have to clean out the fridge. I look up. Oops the kitchen fan needs cleaning. I sat down to take a breath. many a time I have often felt that I 'have' to do it. After all am I not the superwoman who can juggle with tasks and work.  I took a deep breath and as I exhaled I had this light bulb moment. I looked up URBAN CLAP the one stop for all needs. I clicked and voila! I have outsourced the fridge cleaning and the fan cleaning. What a relief. Now I can focus on the important tasks at hand.    

Texas and Tamilnadu incidents-

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  I read with shock and distress about two incidents. One 17 year old boy in my state- Tamilnadu hacked to death his best friend and about the recent school shooting in Texas.  Both incidents had one thing in common ( apart from other factors) Both boys had been victims of bullying. I am not justifying their acts at all. They performed criminal acts of violence.  The Tamilnadu boy has been a victim of body shaming while the Texas boy has been bullied for his stuttering and other factors.  As a society we are equally responsible for such crimes to be reduced and vanish from our existence. I am not going into politics here.  If every home, if every school laid the foundation of relationships with EMPATHY we can bring down such violence. We are very accountable and responsible for the upbringing of every child placed in our care. As parents and teachers we must make the effort to be observant of our child's behaviour.  If the society works together we can bring down bullying and shami

The joy and thrill of giving unexpectedly and receiving unexpectedly

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  I was lounging after lunch. I read a piece of interesting news and shared with my son who lives on the side of the globe. Knowing it would be wee hours in the morning I expected him to see it later . When I received the instant reply and exchange of messages- aah what a warm fuzzy feeling. The thrill of the unexpectedness leaves a glow and a smile. It motivated me to text a friend with whom I haven't been in touch for long. There was that joy in her reply. When we give unexpectedly as simple as a text and we receive the reply unexpectedly there is so much happiness. Happiness lies in simple moments.

Do something you've never done before...

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  This is something that struck me when I read the book Ichigo Ichie.. Last week my friend invited me for a session on waltz. He teaches this dance form (one among his numerous talents). I laughed in embarrassment for I could not visualise myself dancing. I do dance but in a wild and no choreograph style!!  Years ago I 'received' messages which I internalised- I have two left feet, I cannot dance to organised steps', I am clumsy etc etc.  And here is my friend inviting me for waltz😟.He did not hear a No for an answer. He reassured that I leave the worries to him.  I then decided to give it a try. I am not getting younger. And after watching all these British dramas, to waltz was a secret fantasy. So tremulously I went on Friday evening. There were few others. Gosh the thought of being a comic figure in front of all made my heart pound.  Music began. My friend began giving us instructions and guided each one of us. I did make errors but in the hands of an excellent teacher,

A pat for myself.

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  Recently I made a 'social' blunder. A small blunder and I began to accost myself harshly. As I caught myself doing this I paused. I said enough, yes I made the blunder , it is ok... ; so how do I not repeat it... I made a mental note to myself. I gave myself a reassuring pat. Phew what a relief that was. Brought my smile back. 

My brief tryst with the skipping rope.

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  Last evening I spied upon this bright orange skipping rope ( modern and plastic) at the gym. I stared at it longingly. In the last so many years I have been tempted to use this but I had not indulged.  Many thoughts chained me. I was unsure if I could even jump. I was embarrassed of tripping and falling. I was embarrassed of skipping with my heavy body. I was scared if my knees could handle the jumps. Ah so many limiting thoughts!  Yesterday the orange rope shone brightly and winked at me, teasing me to try her.  There was just one other young girl beside me. I saw her reach out and skip. When she stopped I made a grab. I skipped and voila all my fears melted. I was so thrilled that I could still skip quite well. My trainers at the gym were happy and cheering. That feel of stepping off a few inches off the ground is exciting. Immediately it was my school days that came to my mind. My friends and I would do skipping in groups. Those days the skipping rope was made of jute fibre and re

Santoor maestro Pt.Shivkumar Sharma passes away

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  A legend is no more. India mourns his death. I remember hearing his santoor music years ago when i was working as a teacher. We had to do a skit on water and his music was chosen as bgm. I am not a music buff and neither do I have a keen sense of music. I do enjoy music though. I remember being fascinated by the piece. I thus came to know about this genius. His calm demeanour and humility shone along with his music.  His music evoked the brilliance of Dal lake for me. I do not listen to music regularly nor can I call myself his fan. Panditji was there as a luminescent star as I went through my average life.   He is India's pride and his music will stay on forever. 

Doctors- very good & awesome

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  This week I had to visit  two doctors. First I met my pulmonologist who works at a reputed hospital. I had chanced upon him a decade ago. He made my life breathe-easy with minimal prescription and diagnostic tests. He is young, courteous, soft spoken and a gold mine in pulmonology. He is very good. The second doctor I visited is very senior in Ophthalmology. He has been my eye-doc since two decades. He is brilliant. He began his own clinic which has operating theatres as well. Yet he is not greedy. He continues to be courteous and very reassuring. This doctor continues one practice till date- he opens the door to let us out. I am so humbled by  this gesture. He is AWESOME. 

What happens when you refuse to grow...

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  I was conversing with a family member on trivial matters. Interestingly on any given day, the most basic conversation ends up on a sour note for the other person. The characteristics of a person who refuses to have a growth mindset are : I am always correct. I am always not a bother.. I always sacrifice. I have no desires.. ( when there is plenty within) Nobody wants me... nobody respects me.. I should not be alive.. one should not outlive one's spouse etc   my god  I should not open my mouth hereafter as whatever I say is faulty why this change (if the change is positive) now.. you never used to...  I, I, I ...  It is obviously always about 'I".  It is also fascinating to note how such people can view the most normal, ordinary situation or conversation in the utmost negative manner.. It is not enough that they view it so, they also have to tell it out.. It is after all about how the "I" felt.  One can detect jealousy, low esteem, bitterness, sarcasm and plenty

Life hack - acceptance is key

 I had written about my security   Gnanasundar  sometime ago. he passed away peacefully in December 2021. His son continues to work for us. I miss his presence. he used to take full ownership of the apartment complex.   Now I have to grapple with lots of loose ends as I take care of the maintenance of the complex. Sundar was my left and right hand. Though I knew his time was short-lived I had not attempted to learn where the motor switch was/how to switch on and off the generator etc. I have to know so I can teach/inform the current security guards. I was getting irritated this morning that the new guard did not know. I paused my behaviour.   I was irritated now that Sundar did not pass down the info. I realized I was actually irritated that I had not attempted to 'know'. I had tried to close my mind to his oncoming death. I felt if I did not think of it he would miraculously survive and be with us longer. I had not accepted the situation. I had not prepared myself for the '

The handmaid's tale- a warning for us?

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      I was bewitched by this series just as a cobra would bewitch us with its deadly presence. A spine chilling series it gives forth innumerable lessons. It is a dramatized science fiction based on a totalitarian regime in a fictional Republic called Gilead whihc was erstwhile states belonging to the USA. Every episode leaves us shuddering and gasping for the oxygen of freedom. The word of God is twisted and interpreted in utmost fanatical manner. It is like a warning to us- this is what would happen if we leave scriptures to fundamentalists.  Patriarchy tries to subjugate the woman. It is finally SHE who rises to liberate herself and few others.  Just as I was mulling over this, I read about the US preparing to remove the right to abort. It is appalling in today's world to snatch away the right to one's body. A nation that is a trailblazer in science and technology yet....

Festival bountiful

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  It has been one long festive weekend in my country. We celebrated the Regional New year, Easter and observed Maundy Thursday, Good Friday. All this, while the Muslim brethren were observing Ramadan.  As I mused on this I felt that the Universe has been so thoughtful.  After two years of being cloistered at home, now all were out fasting, feasting and praying. Crowds thronged the religious places of worship. Each in his own space praying collectively. Good times are here to come.  Interestingly the theme of the New Year and easter is harvest and resurrection. Nature and religions on the same theme- reap and sow, sow and reap.  Every morning we have the choice to begin anew.  Such festivals are beautiful reminders to begin anew lest we have forgotten.  To thank for the bounty we have lest we have forgotten.  To live in the moment lest we have forgotten!    

Social Rest

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  I recently read about various types of rest one has to take ( a TEDx   article ).  Rest should not be confused with sleep. Rest is important for our restoration.  Among the various types of rest mentioned is Social rest. This means we have to take effort to surround ourselves with positive and supportive people. I say effort because we get drawn or entrapped within toxicity. Take a look at your own inner circle- spouses, parents, children, friends and neighbours. How many are truly supportive and empathetic? If not they drain us and leave us exhausted. Their toxicity takes up so much brain space and sap our productivity.  From time to time we need to reflect and utilize every chance to be with those who leave us rejuvenated, contented and happy. Carpe diem! This is why I am so grateful to have good friends. A luncheon with our collegemate who came down from Dubai turned out to be the much needed Social rest. That feeling of still being in college, ripping each other with jokes and ju

JOMO ???

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  The other day my friend brought to my attention this abbreviation- JOMO. I was clueless. When I learned of it I was thrilled- a new abbreviation added. As I mulled over the meaning I was overjoyed. It sank beautifully into the depth of my soul.  JOMO-joy of missing out- It aligns with what I believe in strongly. JOMO is the antidote to FOMO      ( fear of missing out).  JOMO is to be in the present, to be content in the moment. It is a fabulous form of self care.  At present as I take stock of my JOMO- I just enjoy being at home. I do not miss going out/ partying etc. I am very grateful at this moment. I have stopped comparing ( a huge difference it has made). A recent case of forgetfulness has made me take stock of matters at hand. I need to de clutter my mind. I need to slow down and focus at one task. I need to be more organised.  JOMO- I am loving it. 

Raw mango learnings

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          There is a mango tree in my backyard. Summer dawns with tender mangoes popping out. With a whiff of the wind some of these mangoes fall off. Everyone feels sad on seeing them fall.  I never fail to pick them up. I sort out the better looking ones and bring them home excitedly. I began slicing the tender mangoes. Some have already turned yellow- matured before growing up. These are crushed with salt and chilli powder. They taste yummy with rice and curd.  The green ones were deceptive. Most, when sliced, had begun rotting from within. I marveled at Nature. The tree does not hold back the defective mangoes.   Even though we are blessed with intelligence and reasoning power, we hold on to defective patterns and habits.... here was a lesson staring up at me..

RRR- such dumbness

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  Mistake 1- I went to the theatre wasting money. Mistake 2- late night show Mistake 3- I went with higher expectations than the reviews I read- after all the baahubali man cant go that wrong! Oh yes he did . I thought Telugu movies have gone past the stage where 'fired' bullets are stopped and caught by hand.  Rajamouli seems to have been caught up in his dream of just presenting visuals  without bothering about a plot or editing.  Now please- all of you dear audience do not ever root for an Oscar and be disappointed.  Like me, several have gone with curiosity (thanks to the teasers) to watch and the result- raked in enough money for the /director/actors/producers which is also much needed; utter disappointment to movie buffs like me. Good actors ( I  actually liked junior NTR; Ram Charan reminded me of a beefed up Nivin Pauly😅 ) and excellent dance choreography and two songs (sung by the little girl and Komaru bheem)- are the only highlights. The actors have worked hard to g

Teacher and student

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A recent experience with a student had me musing about a familiar quote- when the student is ready, the teacher appears. The teacher can be in the form of a human or nature or a higher power. I go in with complete dedication and sincerity to teach. My heart still droops at when I find the student unable to 'receive'. I remind myself that the student is not yet ready;  I shall strive on.

An eyeopener on my relationship with money

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  A recent good decision on an investment that had a sad/bad outcome made me worried for a while. I read (listened ) to this book and my eyes opened.  My favourite takeaways (among many): 1. Good decisions can lead to bad outcomes in financial investment and vice versa. We cannot discount luck and risk. This helped in being kinder to myself. 2. Getting money and keeping money are different skills. 3. Flexibility and control over one's time is precious. 4. Difference between rich and wealthy (outstanding difference!) - when we have high income we are rich. Wealth is invisible- it is that whihc is sitting in the bank/savings that can be used in future. It is the money not spent. Being rich has short term benefits while being wealthy has long term benefits. 

Venting and listening

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  Recently when I gave in to venting out I had an afterthought. Was I doing right by venting out? right to the other person- dumping one's baggage onto another?  Often we take people for granted. I have heard friends mentioning how drained they become while listening to someone venting out. Their mind space is now filled with our garbage. Listening requires mindful effort. I shall be more mindful now on. I wish for the pattern to become weak and dissolve. I shall seek other outlets or maybe therapy for myself if need be.

Privileges and success

 I had been to a different city on a training program to impart to second year college students. The morning sessions were attended by students who were from relatively underprivileged backgrounds while the afternoon sessions had students from the self financing batch.  In the first batch, they were largely eager. Their ambitions were limited just as their exposure. When most students saw their future as a bank clerk/officer, govt steno/typist, village officer- of course there is absolutely nothing wrong in these- it was fascinating to understand that they did not know beyond. When I spoke of more opportunities, I could sense their excitement and a bit of diffidence. Would they get such opportunities, can they dream.. It was also interesting to note that more than one wanted to enter politics; about a quarter wanted govt jobs at the moderate administration level while two or three wanted to be entrepreneurs.  The afternoon batch spoke of stock trade/ cryptocurrency; talked of Mukesh Am

Digitally equipped Mindfulness

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  As mentioned several times I am fascinated by technology and now with AI. My son had gifted me an Apple watch. Yes I enjoy all its features. I shall discuss some later. Today I opened the mindfulness feature. It has two options: gratitude and breathe. Time= 1 minute.  I clicked on the gratitude. It guided me to be grateful... For the one minute the apple had a soothing  visual colour swirl. I had so much to be grateful for. I picked one and focussed on it. One minute sped. I thus began my day with peace and calm. 

Shane Warne and life musings.

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  RIP Shane Warne. I hardly watch cricket yet I cannot escape this game ( can any Indian?). Some cricketers have made an impact on me. Shane Warne was a media favourite too with his marvellous professional life and a colourful personal life.  In them morning I woke up with the news that the legendary Rod Marsh had passed away. Shane Warne had given a condolence message. By evening Shane is no more. Just 52 years old.  I spent some time reflecting on life. As ever I am deeply grateful. All the irritants faded away. I felt lighter and happier. I wished it would always be like this. From time to time we are constantly reminded how mortal we are. Sigh all this amidst Europe being torn apart.. why is the homo sapien so difficult..

Gym por favor

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  Health and fitness is everyone's pet topic and nightmare. In my caseI like to experiment with various forms of exercise, the most popular being the gym and yoga. Both these suit me well and my ambidextrous self.  I have not had happy experiences with my aerobic instructor. She just could not understand why I found rhythm and the concept of right/left so hard. She would also use racist slur on the 'south indian body type/ rice eating type etc. it was very de motivating.  I figured out very late in life, thanks to my dance teacher- yes I did join a classical dance class. The teacher was patient and a keen observer. She pointed out that being a left handed person who was forced into being right handed, I had this confusion. Whoa that was an eureka moment for me. I almost teared up as I had a better understanding of myself.  In between all such stunts I do moderate walking to maintain some amount of fitness. My body hit a plateau with walking. I entered into a comfort zone so it

Lens and perspective

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  pic courtesy-google images It is fascinating when one looks at another via one's own 'lens' and is willing to discover a different facet to the other.  It is a choice we have to make. Assumptions, presumptions, expectations, generalisations are red flags in any relationship. 

hridayam- a movie that lingers in your heart till the next day

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  As the title goes it is indeed a huge achievement, nowadays, if a movie does linger on for more than 24 hours!  Two young men, sons of two legends, have made this movie worthwhile ( in fact every actor in the film has donned the role beautifully). Hridayam is a feel good film a tad longer than usual with plenty of twists.. It is a movie where you can take breaks and get back with enthusiasm and curiosity. It is not a film that has to be rushed into watching in one go. Savour the scenes. Thanks to OTT!! The movie is a simple reflection of a slice of life. Now if life isn't magical then what is. The film has captured the ethos of a Malayalee student in Chennai. The teachers/profs not being mocked; the subtle dialogues without bringing in hostility between Tamilians and Malayalees; the mix of students; hostel scenes; engineering students finding their own off beaten paths; the bond of friendship; the bullies; crush and infatuations; life after college, weddings of classmates- the yo

Remembering dad

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Yesterday it was my father's birthday. A few memories came up distinctly. One that came up uppermost was thanks to my son's blog   My father taught me to remember that there were 'angels' on earth who have helped us sometime somewhere in our life's journey. He would speak of his bachelor days when he had starved and lived on black coffee because he did not want to burden his brothers. But it was miraculous when his second older brother would send him a parcel of goodies. The relief; the mitigation of hunger - I would see my father's eyes tear up. He remained grateful to many in his life's journey. And I am glad he taught me by being the role model. 

My Indian Valentine's Day

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 I had my post grad classmates over for munch on Valentines Day. With gusto we wore our favourite colours; had chocolates , food and plenty of pics. We had such a memorable time catching up with stories old and new. Eckart Tolle featured in our conversation. It was a well spent day. We were comfortable talking various topics, comfortable with our flaws and laughter. It is interesting how Indians have embraced valentine's day. Of course the romance tradition is uppermost. For the rest of the populace it symbolises simple plain/non romantic love between individuals- parents and children; teacher and students; and above all a beautiful platonic love between friends. Valentines day in India embraces the Indian family and extended family plus friends circle.  Love is indeed beautiful is it not!

Just an observation

 I was happy to receive my new splashy driving license card. It looks hi tech with an inserted chip. As I was waiting in line with several others my neighbour a retired PT teacher struck conversation with me. A few others of my age group sat around staring at people and stuff. A couple of young men strolled in with the air of confidence. They mentioned they had filled up online and saved a grand( whihc folks like m had paid to our respective driving schools). They were pretty smug. The retired teacher told me to watch what would happen. As mentioned the young men were asked to run around for some document or the other... Giving the fee to the driving schools save us the time and effort. Unfortunately it is nothing to be thrilled about. It just reflects the ambiguity of  the online portal. If there is clarity then all of us would have done the same. We have gone digital yet it is not all that easy. 

Chinese new year

Today many friends and acquaintances were wishing each other on the occasion of Chinese New Year. I wonder if any other country would celebrate festivals or occasions with such gusto as we do in India. We have incorporated festivals from all around the world!  As I mused it dawned that the regional (Indian) new year would fall in a few months ahead. And till around November we have various occasions marking the beginning of a new year in various communities. And with cheer and good spirit we ring in the (Western) New Year on Dec 31st evening.  How wonderful that we actually have so many reminders to begin anew. Forget the errors; declutter the unwanted and bring in the change..

The Dark Web ( Concluding part)

  Basic tips on Internet Safety (from my miniscule experience) Scenario 1979 at my parent’s house: My father would buy only Godrej Navtal (gleaming round brass) locks for the gates and house. Scenario 1990 at my house: I was fascinated by the modern locks that we could lock without a key. Just press and it locks. The dainty key would be used to unlock. Scenario 2021: I am more worried about my Virtual safety! Abstract clouds and passwords!  Gosh I love Alibaba (of the 40 thieves fame) who was so futuristic to have a password for his magical cave. How do we keep ourselves safer in the Virtual world? 1.       On the phone – Download Google Drive on your phone. Save the important information (PIN/passwords etc )on the drive. This can be accessed only by you and anywhere. It is safer than saving it on the Notes folder in case the phone gets misplaced. Use face recognition or thumbprint recognition. 2.       Phone password- use the face recognition/ fingerprint in addition to

The Dark Web (Part 2)

  What are the consequences faced by victims of cybercrime?   Victims of any crime undergo consequences, so victims of cybercrime are no exception. In fact, victims of cybercrime may face prolonged consequences as the cyber world is invisible and lurking, up there in the ‘cloud’. Let me share some examples. Names and other details are changed to protect identity. Case 1 Shalu was in an intense relationship with Mohit. They loved their clandestine meetings. During these meetings Mohit had persuaded her to be filmed and   photographed. During the pandemic Shalu was shocked beyond wits when her friends began to call her after receiving her her nude pictures and clips. Mohit had sent them to several common friends. The final straw was when he sent the same to her mother. Floodgates opened. Shalu was overwhelmed with strong feelings of shame, guilt, and grief. Her trust was broken. The relationship ended, of course. She experienced anger, rage, and helplessness. Above all, fear lo