learnings

My heart brimmed with joy as I read the news of Manabí Bandhopadhyay becoming the country's first Principal. http://www.msn.com/en-in/news/national/college-in-bengal-to-have-country%e2%80%99s-first-transgender-principal/ar-BBkhGhq?ocid=HPCDHP It is indeed heart warming in a time when inter-caste love, religious strifes, Muslims being turned down from renting houses in Mumbai, headmaster sexually assaulting minor students run rampant in the news. Congratulations to the College for encouraging this.

As I looked ut of the classroom window I saw the tamarind tree laden with ripe tamarinds. My mouth watered at the thought of having one with a pinch of salt. During my schooldays such a tree would have been stripped by eager bunch of girls like me. We enjoyed clambering up the trees in our school ground. We would mix salt and chilli powder and polish of dozens till our teeth would cry STOP!! Today the tree stands laden but no one is interested in simple pleasures. Times have changed...

As we were having lunch one hot noon the topic revolved about aches and pains. One of my colleague mused about a book she  had read recently. It was titled the Gift of Pain. As she discussed the contents it hit the nail on our heads. What if were not able to feel pain? We may think it to be blissful- yes temporarily it would. Imagine a painless labour and painless surgeries. But look at the cons of not having pain- emotional. mental and physical pain. we would become sociopaths/psychopaths. It would be so unnatural! So pain and experiencing it is not bad at all. It reminds us that it is natural. It teaches us to be humane. It is a gift.

I love this time of the year. There is something nostalgic about May. The heat, mangoes, jackfruits, curd, tender mango pickles... I miss my childhood days. Every year ( for years) mid April we would head to my native Kerala. As we landed at Kochi ( then) the fresh air and the greenery would excite us. One of my cousins would always be there to pick us up. With suitcases in our hands we would watch a Malayalam movie and then head home- to my paternal grand mom's. Days would blur into nights and vice versa. All the cousins would gather under one roof and we would take turns at staying at the various aunts/uncles' places. Swimming and bathing in the local rivers/streams/ ponds were an everyday affair. We would then head to our grandfather's hotel and hog all the delicious items on the menu. Playing hide and seek, cycling, playing cricket, movies, stories and plenty of food kept us going. Sometimes a wedding or a family function would enable us to meet distant relatives. A c

After days of cribbing about our increasing girth lines and bad lifestyle, A few of us have joined together to go to the nearest park after work and walk for about 30 minutes. After school like a bunch of excited girls we changed our footwear and set off. The park itself was a pleasant surprise. One round =510 meters. The plentiful green cover is an added boon. Amidst a few hiccups we managed to finish 2.5 kms today. Soon we began to talk about the types of food to consume too. It was magical to see our group deciding to make changes in the diet. Once I returned home I was enthused to walk for another 20 minutes and I took care not to over eat too. I am looking forward to such group walks and sustained enthusiasm. The point is Let us just begin...

This evening I walked to my lending library ( yes we have a few book lending libraries left in my city). I saw an elderly couple walking a few steps ahead of me. The wife was walking with the support of a stick. The husband was holding her other hand. The road was busy with motorists honking and bikes whizzing past. A man from the opposite side slowed down his bike on seeing the couple , smiled at them and even told them to take their time and walk slow. This biker waited patiently. I was so motivated by this action. On reaching the cross roads I slowed down my pace and helped them to cross the road. They were so thankful that I was embarrassed. Doing a small act of help can leave us so invigorated. Would you also please look around to do your bit ?  

Last night this was the advice given to me by my spouse. As I reflected on this I realized the biggest obstacle in doing this i.e keeping enemies close would require me to give up my ego. And this is huge. But the end result would be great because: I would not be spending time in negative thoughts/action It would not deter my health I would master the art of diplomacy I would not run away from the situation What do you have to say?

When we are assigned a task or if we have an assignment to do: Let us just begin with baby steps. The baby steps evolve into a routine. We hit a 'flow'. We complete the task with happiness and satisfaction. Often when we observe babies trying to learn to stand or walk, it is admirable to see their persistence. A word of praise or a clap makes them go getters! That is because babies are not prone to self-criticism ( thank god for that).  Can we learn from this and take 'baby steps' and be kinder to ourselves? These baby steps will help us settle into an enjoyable routine. And in such a routine we shall find the 'flow' -In his seminal work, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience , Prof Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi outlines his theory that people are happiest when they are in a state of flow — a state of concentration or complete absorption with the activity at hand and the situation. It is a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing e

Today we have been given the task of doing SWOT analysis. As I began attempting I realised how we take our personal resources like time, health, energy and family for family for granted. Let me focus on just one factor of health i.e. sleep. We are so fortunate to be able to sleep. There different kinds of sleep disorders affecting so many people. Luckiest are those who can sleep when their heads touch the pillow ( not me). The next group are people like me who have a ritual to fall asleep. My personal routine is I brush my teeth, wash my feet and read a book for a little while. Nowadays listening to books on Audible often replaces the book. Then it is welcome to slumber land. Of course that we wake up energised , fresh and look forward to the day ahead is even more of a blessing!  

I am just shocked that our Parliamentarians have pushed aside the issue of marital rape under the carpet!!! They cite that it would go against Indian culture and the sacred institution of marriage !! Almost every woman goes through at least one instance of marital rape- rape is when one partner is not a willing partner. Somehow marriage in our country is a license to sex. There are cases of men who exert their conjugal rights on days when women are menstruating too. In all income groups marital rapes occur. Why is it that men cannot accept the fact that we own our bodies and that we have the right to say NO! There are many women who have said that they lie like dead wood in bed. The man does not treat them with due respect. Sex is just not intercourse. There is a pre and post stage which are totally ignored by most men. If a woman undergoes regular torture should she not have the backing of the law to protect her? It is sad and barbaric that we still live in times like this!

I am a great fan of Game of Thrones ( duh). There is this particular character Mance Rayder- the king /leader of the wildlings or the free spirited people. He refuses several opportunities to save his life because he does not want to betray his people. He 'd rather suffer, get burnt or tortured so that his people would know: That he was not disloyal to their belief in him. That he has kept his word. That he is not afraid to fail. How powerful are these words especially the last statement. Most of us are caught in the trap- how can we fail? what if we fail? Many Indian parents at this juncture may be stifling the dreams and desires of their children because of this trap. It struck me recently that the present generation have the grit and determination to try their hand sat different occupations, social work and  start ups. From a nation of degree crazy people we are slowly getting there- to the world of entrepreneurs. Set them free. If they fail we are there to break the fal