learnings

  I have a workshop coming up. I have personal commitments and I have to clean out the fridge. I look up. Oops the kitchen fan needs cleaning. I sat down to take a breath. many a time I have often felt that I 'have' to do it. After all am I not the superwoman who can juggle with tasks and work.  I took a deep breath and as I exhaled I had this light bulb moment. I looked up URBAN CLAP the one stop for all needs. I clicked and voila! I have outsourced the fridge cleaning and the fan cleaning. What a relief. Now I can focus on the important tasks at hand.    

  I read with shock and distress about two incidents. One 17 year old boy in my state- Tamilnadu hacked to death his best friend and about the recent school shooting in Texas.  Both incidents had one thing in common ( apart from other factors) Both boys had been victims of bullying. I am not justifying their acts at all. They performed criminal acts of violence.  The Tamilnadu boy has been a victim of body shaming while the Texas boy has been bullied for his stuttering and other factors.  As a society we are equally responsible for such crimes to be reduced and vanish from our existence. I am not going into politics here.  If every home, if every school laid the foundation of relationships with EMPATHY we can bring down such violence. We are very accountable and responsible for the upbringing of every child placed in our care. As parents and teachers we must make the effort to be observant of our child's behaviour.  If the society works together we can bring down bullying and shami

  I was lounging after lunch. I read a piece of interesting news and shared with my son who lives on the side of the globe. Knowing it would be wee hours in the morning I expected him to see it later . When I received the instant reply and exchange of messages- aah what a warm fuzzy feeling. The thrill of the unexpectedness leaves a glow and a smile. It motivated me to text a friend with whom I haven't been in touch for long. There was that joy in her reply. When we give unexpectedly as simple as a text and we receive the reply unexpectedly there is so much happiness. Happiness lies in simple moments.

  This is something that struck me when I read the book Ichigo Ichie.. Last week my friend invited me for a session on waltz. He teaches this dance form (one among his numerous talents). I laughed in embarrassment for I could not visualise myself dancing. I do dance but in a wild and no choreograph style!!  Years ago I 'received' messages which I internalised- I have two left feet, I cannot dance to organised steps', I am clumsy etc etc.  And here is my friend inviting me for waltz😟.He did not hear a No for an answer. He reassured that I leave the worries to him.  I then decided to give it a try. I am not getting younger. And after watching all these British dramas, to waltz was a secret fantasy. So tremulously I went on Friday evening. There were few others. Gosh the thought of being a comic figure in front of all made my heart pound.  Music began. My friend began giving us instructions and guided each one of us. I did make errors but in the hands of an excellent teacher,

  Recently I made a 'social' blunder. A small blunder and I began to accost myself harshly. As I caught myself doing this I paused. I said enough, yes I made the blunder , it is ok... ; so how do I not repeat it... I made a mental note to myself. I gave myself a reassuring pat. Phew what a relief that was. Brought my smile back. 

  Last evening I spied upon this bright orange skipping rope ( modern and plastic) at the gym. I stared at it longingly. In the last so many years I have been tempted to use this but I had not indulged.  Many thoughts chained me. I was unsure if I could even jump. I was embarrassed of tripping and falling. I was embarrassed of skipping with my heavy body. I was scared if my knees could handle the jumps. Ah so many limiting thoughts!  Yesterday the orange rope shone brightly and winked at me, teasing me to try her.  There was just one other young girl beside me. I saw her reach out and skip. When she stopped I made a grab. I skipped and voila all my fears melted. I was so thrilled that I could still skip quite well. My trainers at the gym were happy and cheering. That feel of stepping off a few inches off the ground is exciting. Immediately it was my school days that came to my mind. My friends and I would do skipping in groups. Those days the skipping rope was made of jute fibre and re

  A legend is no more. India mourns his death. I remember hearing his santoor music years ago when i was working as a teacher. We had to do a skit on water and his music was chosen as bgm. I am not a music buff and neither do I have a keen sense of music. I do enjoy music though. I remember being fascinated by the piece. I thus came to know about this genius. His calm demeanour and humility shone along with his music.  His music evoked the brilliance of Dal lake for me. I do not listen to music regularly nor can I call myself his fan. Panditji was there as a luminescent star as I went through my average life.   He is India's pride and his music will stay on forever. 

  This week I had to visit  two doctors. First I met my pulmonologist who works at a reputed hospital. I had chanced upon him a decade ago. He made my life breathe-easy with minimal prescription and diagnostic tests. He is young, courteous, soft spoken and a gold mine in pulmonology. He is very good. The second doctor I visited is very senior in Ophthalmology. He has been my eye-doc since two decades. He is brilliant. He began his own clinic which has operating theatres as well. Yet he is not greedy. He continues to be courteous and very reassuring. This doctor continues one practice till date- he opens the door to let us out. I am so humbled by  this gesture. He is AWESOME. 

  I was conversing with a family member on trivial matters. Interestingly on any given day, the most basic conversation ends up on a sour note for the other person. The characteristics of a person who refuses to have a growth mindset are : I am always correct. I am always not a bother.. I always sacrifice. I have no desires.. ( when there is plenty within) Nobody wants me... nobody respects me.. I should not be alive.. one should not outlive one's spouse etc   my god  I should not open my mouth hereafter as whatever I say is faulty why this change (if the change is positive) now.. you never used to...  I, I, I ...  It is obviously always about 'I".  It is also fascinating to note how such people can view the most normal, ordinary situation or conversation in the utmost negative manner.. It is not enough that they view it so, they also have to tell it out.. It is after all about how the "I" felt.  One can detect jealousy, low esteem, bitterness, sarcasm and plenty

 I had written about my security   Gnanasundar  sometime ago. he passed away peacefully in December 2021. His son continues to work for us. I miss his presence. he used to take full ownership of the apartment complex.   Now I have to grapple with lots of loose ends as I take care of the maintenance of the complex. Sundar was my left and right hand. Though I knew his time was short-lived I had not attempted to learn where the motor switch was/how to switch on and off the generator etc. I have to know so I can teach/inform the current security guards. I was getting irritated this morning that the new guard did not know. I paused my behaviour.   I was irritated now that Sundar did not pass down the info. I realized I was actually irritated that I had not attempted to 'know'. I had tried to close my mind to his oncoming death. I felt if I did not think of it he would miraculously survive and be with us longer. I had not accepted the situation. I had not prepared myself for the '

      I was bewitched by this series just as a cobra would bewitch us with its deadly presence. A spine chilling series it gives forth innumerable lessons. It is a dramatized science fiction based on a totalitarian regime in a fictional Republic called Gilead whihc was erstwhile states belonging to the USA. Every episode leaves us shuddering and gasping for the oxygen of freedom. The word of God is twisted and interpreted in utmost fanatical manner. It is like a warning to us- this is what would happen if we leave scriptures to fundamentalists.  Patriarchy tries to subjugate the woman. It is finally SHE who rises to liberate herself and few others.  Just as I was mulling over this, I read about the US preparing to remove the right to abort. It is appalling in today's world to snatch away the right to one's body. A nation that is a trailblazer in science and technology yet....