learnings

Today while interacting with my Grade 6 students some facts came to light. I just happened to mention whatsapp!! A barrage of complaints from my little ones: 'my dad is always on whatsapp' , my mother sits up late at night (and shows action of texting) My mom even if she is tired has to whatsapp and if i want to talk she gets irritated.' My father tells me to talk later' Hey parents are we even aware of this? Talking to our children in real time, Playing with them during real time, engaging in activities in real time- is far more relaxing than spending on virtual time. The forwards, jokes on whatsapp will keep coming but real time lost is lost! Today your child has grown a day. In the last 14 hours so much would have happened. Is it not more important than what is happening around the world somewhere,in someone else's life? Please do not lose more days.

Often I come across teachers telling me,'I told the student so many times...' We forget that in a day we may teach for 5 or 6 periods out of 8 but students sit through all of the 8. we royally walk in and out of classes, expecting the young minds to shift focus asap from Eng to Lang to Sci to Math to Art to Hist to Geog to ...phew so many classes, so many topics, so many different adults!!! And we think school is fun!! Each time we walk in we expect the students to switch to our subjects in robot like efficiency. And we expect them to pay full attention - for the Full 40-45 min. Is this humanly possible? Yet we go on and on in the same format. Have we forgotten our childhood? To top it all we say something or discipline them twice or thrice and we think that is enough. Dear teachers we need to keep reinforcing. Don't we need reminders? They are children. They are not machines. We may have to tell again and again and again. They may not follow or obey us then, but lat...

It is age of teamwork. There are many corporate offices who are blurring the lines between different levels of positions held. They ( the newer ones and startups)are encouraging open and barrier-less seating.  It is the age where even the governments are realizing that they cannot go alone- they need to involve the citizens. So it is in the educational sector. A school cannot function without a Head, teachers, students and all the non teaching staff.  A team is invigorated by its leader. A leader who is balanced empathetic non judgmental learner able to know the strengths and weaknesses of team members. not a fault finder When we have such an environment we will be happy. Happiness at a workplace leads to fulfillment and productivity. In an educational sector this happiness and positivity would be transferred to the young minds. What an effect it would have on the future of the institution and the society!

A beautiful story based on a Malayalam proverb: Once when a ripe leaf was falling off the tree, the young leaf laughed. The old one said,'Your turn will also come' Laugh for a reason. Laugh with a friend. Laugh not AT anybody.

I was watching a Malayalam film called James and Alice. One particular dialogue stays with me, Life does not give a second chance. Death gives.' I pondered on this. It is true that death of near and dear ones teaches a lesson so strong that it grounds you literally to reality. It is true that near death experiences has changed the survivor's life totally. Why wait for such experiences? A little bit of reflection, a little bit of awareness , lots of openness to learning, pinch of mindset can season life. Live life. It happens just once .

It is trying time for teachers, especially history teachers. Whenever I teach lessons on the great Indian unity, great Indian sharing and caring ( our pledge) why do I feel hypocritical? The present generation questions. They have news at their fingertips. In school we have students giving us weekly news round up.. Cauvery issue, Dalit issue, cow vigilantism, gender inequality issue, honour killing issue... And my voice drones on ...The Preamble of the Constitution says....

During lunch today one of my colleagues remarked that she wished she could rewind time so that her ward ( who is a young grad) would be a child once again.  Obviously childhood is easier to handle.  One learns painfully to let go as the child grows out into a teen and adult. At that time she remarked how difficult it is to let go.  Indeed it is difficult, very difficult.  But have we wondered how wonderful it is when we let go and our love for each other grows stronger? Out of the toughness is born a brilliant relationship. What are we afraid of? That our child will stumble, will fall, will get hurt? Aren't we there to hold them then

Ustad Hotel I have seen this movie several times and it has never failed me. Each time I watch the movie I fall in love with it again and again.  This time it opened my eyes to my profession.  The grandfather in the movie does not teach anything directly to his grandson. He just puts him on the path. The grand son learns.  The grandfather is a role model himself. But he shows the grandson other role models. Highlights for educators from the film: 1. Be the role model you want to fashion your students. Children imitate what we do and not what we say.  2. Be selfless in sharing knowledge. 3. Be selfless in acknowledging stalwarts and colleagues who have expertise in their domain.  4. Make your student thinkers and not merely doers.  5. Question  your 'why' time to time. Each morning as I wake up my energy and mood is so high and positive as I set out for school. The very thought of entering the portals of my workplace and looki...

Infants are hugged. Toddlers are hugged. But what about teens?  Teens would not like it if you hug them in public. At home they may shrug you off. That does not mean you just stop hugging. There would be moments to give one. Make your hug just right. Don't make it too cloying nor too light. Just the right pressure. Hold the hug for a few moments. Feel the energy passing through. Above all hug when your teen least expects it. Most often we hug only when we are happy with them. What about moments when they have failed to come to our expectations? When they haven't performed to the benchmark that we have set? When they are going through a crush or infatuation? When they have taken a decision on their own? When they have decided to take a break from studies or work? They still remain our children don't they? Let your teen knob that he or she always has your support. Always. This is your main role

A 'different' girl, a 'different' mom, 'me' I am always amused when people Judge my capabilities as a mom, as a teacher, spouse.... And this happens often.  I am different. I have always challenged the fixed mindset and conventions. I am outspoken and have a mind of my own.  Hence I am looked at with amusement or cynicism. I am either derided or gossiped about. Adults don't know to handle me. Men thank their stars that their spouse is not like me.  Just the other day I was offered a role of a dysfunctional mom in a short film. Immediately someone commented that the role would suit me- not because I act well but because I am not the so called 'conventional' person.!!!!! How easy it is to be patronising.  How noble it is to accept individuals as they are.  Shake off the yoke people. 

The Infosys chairman from his vast experience has finally uttered the truth.  In fact it is this ego that is preventing us from going towards being a developed nation. Nobody likes to admit that they do Not. Know - be it a child or an adult. Hence the scientific temper is lost. Narayana Murthy in a wonderful article has written this: The biggest challenge for all of us, not just politicians or bureaucrats, is that we, Indians, have the highest ego per unit of achievement. I would humbly request, we be open-minded to those who have performed better than us," he said.  He spoke of having worked with so many governments and realised that somehow things don't move fast. It's partly due to the know-it-all attitude.  Murthy contrasted this attitude with his experience as an IT advisor to the Thai PM, more than a decade back. "They (Thai officials) would make a presentation and I would give suggestions. They would write those down. The next time I went there, they would sh...

I had come to know of the appointment of an acquaintance to an honorary prestigious post in a corporation. I was wistful. If only I had relatives in powerful positions .... Just then my inbox landed Seth Godin's blog of the day. By Jove it grounded me to reality. The blog :   The lottery winners (a secret of unhappiness)  You're going to have to fight for every single thing, forever and ever. It's really unlikely that they will pick you, anoint you or hand you the audience and support you seek. No one will ever realize just how extraordinary you are, how generous, charismatic, or caring.    That pretty much doesn't happen, except for just a handful of people who win some sort of cosmic lottery, who get 'discovered' at a drug store and made a movie star, who are on the fast track to CEO of the Fortune 500, who get the big label deal and the gold records, merely for being in the right place at the right time.   Those people, it turns out...

16 years , not one or two but 16 years!! Irom Sharmila, the Iron woman of Manipur fasted.She fasted for a cause. Amidst all the chaos, love blossomed in her life. Thank god for this love. Initially nobody thought that she would ever continue for such a long long time. Events and people, leaders and lesser mortals went by but she never gave up her fast. Just very occasionally she was mentioned in the media. Irom sacrificed her youth, her time and energy for a cause. Today she has ended her fast. Such a lovely moment. It is a momentous decision. What is amazing ans shocking is that there are some elements in Manipur who do not want her to end the fast. After all was it not easy to play up on her fasting? Was it not easy to whip up the martyr sentiments? How easy for others to say or demand that she continues the fast. Such a preposterous thought. Such a selfish motive. But then you may say politics indeed is a strange bedfellow!

Dear Lufthansa Airlines, Can you please take this ad off air? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrYhrZ3ppik It is the most irritating and stereotypical ad that I have seen in the last few days. I know it is an old one but I have begun to notice it off late whenever I switch on the TV!! It is grating on the ears and soul. It is ironically titled the Indian heart. Oh yes the Indian heart is stereotypical. How wonderfully an Indian Grandad teaches his son a life lesson on another culture and country - the Germans! Note the wry expression and the grimace. Ad the young mind laps it all. To his surprise he finds very friendly staff (sic) and even Indian food (sic sic). The justification is that we are very sentimental people - we never take the 'Indian' out of us where ever we go. So only when we get Indian food even on a German airline are we happy! And this reminds us of the eternal Indian traveller who wants to travel every nook and corner but expects that land to stock hi...

I am thankful for so many reasons. As I walked down the corridors of a school for the orphans, I was struck with gratitude. Gratitude for the life I have. So many of us do not realize the value of being born on the right side of the street. We have taken for granted our parents, home, school, friends, lifestyle etc. We do not know what actual struggle means- struggle to eat, dress, exist. Struggle to be cared for- the most luxurious yet the most simple to give and get. I hurt my hand as I walked through the garden and scraped off a teeny weeny bit of skin on two of my fingers. Ouch how it hurts even now. The wounds cringe when water hits them. Hence I have been trying to use just one hand while doing the daily chores. As I fretted and fumed, my mind flash backed on the school and its orphan students. I felt ashamed. So how do I help? How can I help? I want to help.. so many questions from many friends. It is indeed a beautiful feeling to reach out in some way to the underprivileged...

It was trepidation that I went to watch the movie. There were so many reviews and views. Neither did I want to be disappointed nor did I want my superstar to disappoint! Positives 1. There were moments to clap and whistle. 2. Did not raise Super Star to being Super human. 3. Depicted an ageing Don with a flashback. Loved Rajnikanth depicting his old self but with his inimitable style. 4. No item  song or dance. 5. No vulgarity. Women depicted in strong light. No dialogues to discriminate women or the usual gender stereotype. 6.  Few songs. 7.NO unnecessary comedy or additional comedy track. 8. Radhika Apte was very good and so was the guy who acted as Jeeva 9. Kudos to Pa.Ranjith to dare to make a Rajnikanth movie without the usual punch dialogues and action. 10. Kudos to Rajnikanth having trusted this director. 11. 2 words remain in your mind: Magizhchi and neruppa da 12. Rajnikanth reminded me of his olden days movies before he reached superstardom. Negative...

It is with pain that I read the news of  people who have lost jobs in Saudi Arabia. As such they do live in  sub human conditions. They slog to give a luxurious life for their immediate family members.  These family members build palatial houses and most of them hardly have proper jobs thanks to the communist thinking of the Kerala state which in turn has led to  nil industrialisation. Excepting for Tourism and IT sector nothing else has been allowed to flourish. On the social front it is a state where women having been taking care of households due to the absentee husbands but in public they are dominated by the patriarchal system. Though the Kerala woman is literate she is not educated. Adultery, suicide, alcoholism have begun dotting every village in Kerala Nearly every household is a dysfunctional one due to absentee husbands/fathers. The sad truth is once the workers return from Saudi they are treated by the same family as a pariah or outcast. His value is...

During my one month stay with my son I learned some of life's beautiful lessons. During a conversation and teasing between us my son remarked,' Mom whatever you have given me, I will pay it forward to my progeny.' It was spot on. Whatever we give to our children- values, ideals, comfort, luxury e.t.c they would pay it forward. Life after all does not reverse. it always goes forward. Such a beautiful lesson in 'letting go'. Only when we 'let go' do our children truly blossom!

Be it a relationship, personal or professional situation, exit with dignity. Do not play the blame game. Do not demoralize those who are 'in'. Do not drag the other down. Exit with your head held high.

I read with shock and pain that the age of marijuana users in New Delhi, my country's capital city, is as low as 12-13 years. These children belong to the high income group. Parents we have just one life.  Can we please let go of our ego and 'listen' to our children. Can we 'know' what is happening in their lives? Can we take note of their behaviour so much so that the slightest change alerts us? Can we take note of their personal hygiene? Can we enter their world of likes, leaving ours behind? Can we spend time with them, hang out with them? ( during early years if you do not make it a habit, you cannot barge into their teen years) Can we have dinner together more often without gadgets? Can we accept their opinion and views on various matters? Can we monitor their Internet schedule? Can we take interest in their music, movies and  games? Can we, please, can we be mindful of our children?  If we do not go on the journey along with them, w...

It is an era where teachers have to be more mindful of their students. An era where both parents are working/ climbing the social and career ladder. Teachers have more responsibility towards students especially at the school level. As a class teacher/subject teacher we must be aware, be mindful of the students in our class. Do we stop to observe them? Are we concerned when they are absent from school? Are we concerened about their eating habits? Are we taking note of their hygiene and turn out? (It is not just the responsibility of the Physical department) Do we care to know about their likes/dislikes/music/games/latest fads? Do we observe any changes in emotion/action/behaviour ? Oh Yes teachers we have a lot to do. It is not enough if we merely teach and exit from the class? Pursuing homework and assignments is only a miniscule in our teaching arena. Each child needs a champion. Let us each one of us be 'there', 'be the champ' for our students. If you h...

I read a beautiful article on the same topic by a popular behavioural consultant in my city. Being patient in some occasions, in some situations, in some places alone is not good enough. Patience is to be worn like a cloak through and through. Let us be aware of our behaviour all the time. How do we behave while waiting at the traffic signal? How do we behave while boarding or exiting the aircraft? How do we behave while waiting at the cash counter in a supermarket? How do we behave while standing in line for the school assembly? Lining up in queue is just not in our Indian culture. Might is right still persists especially when we travel in the northern parts of the country. The only decent queue I have seen during my travels is in Kerala where men of all classes stand demurely and oh so patiently- to buy alcohol! So can we wear patience like a cloak? Through and through?

There are several elements of communication and one of them is the tone of voice. I recently stayed at a favourite friend's place. I observed the tone of voice used by the couple while communicating. Any correction of terms or facts were done in a gentle tone, so softly that it is difficult for the third person to hear. The other person also took the correction by responding positively. I am rather a reactive person at home. This was an eye opener and I am going to work on my tone. Will I succeed? Maybe some blogs later I may answer if I succeeded or not.

Some years ago I read about Professors at Harvard  receiving feedback from their students. The article was an eye opener for me. Asking students for a feedback? Unheard of in the Indian scenario when we teachers expect our students to merely 'listen' to us, 'obey', 'respect'. Nowadays the scenario has changed at many urban areas where teachers are getting used to students being very open, speaking their minds and being assertive. Some teachers do not like it while some do. Upon reading the article, with great trepidation, I asked my students to give me a feedback. Most were scared to pen their thoughts. Obviously they were scared of the backlash. So I told them to write on paper without mentioning their names. I was overwhelmed by the positive comments. But the greatest learning came from those who mentioned about my temper! I, then on, became conscious and began working on checking my temper. I do not know if I succeeded in my previous school but I got bette...

I love the Kung Fu Panda movies. The 3rd one did not disappoint. Though the movie is intended for children there is a lot to learn for all age groups:- 1. Be yourself 2. Love is to be shared ( 2 parents sharing PO) 3. As a teacher it is not about the teachers, it is all about the students.. very student- centric ( it is not about me, it is about them) 4. Master's ego- Master Shifu was so ready to be a learner all over again. He was ready to learn from his student. Such open mindedness! Such humility. 5. Po makes use of the local talents. He makes use of each one's latent potential. He hones their assets into fine skills. One can transfer one's skills. Yet another powerful lesson. 6. It is alright to not succeed at your first attempt. Be bold enough to accept and move on or change your tactic. Have you seen the movie? Any learnings?

A young adult recently commented that he was not getting enough sleep. On inquiring I found, without surprise, that he smokes after dinner, watches TV or is on the net till midnight or past. Good habits are needed for a good sleep. I have found that having a routine is wonderful. My routine works from Monday to Friday. I have not been able to extend my routine to the weekends because I do not want to. Indulging in habits and routine that is interfering with our bodies and life is entirely up to us. We push ourselves to the the doors of the hospital and then shock ourselves into changing habits. Often it is too late... What sleep does to us: Rejuvenates all organs Builds up immunity system Improves Concentration and memory Improves decision making skills Strengthens Will Power. All of us know yet... I n the hall of silence Waves of serenity engulf me I am cradled in the land of nod I float into waves of dreamless sleep So nourishing and rejuvenating... And l...

The other day I read about a famous actor changing his long held belief. He confessed turning from atheism to gandhism. There was a frenzy among his fans and in the media. I admired him for the same fact though. He is past his prime and at this age he has taken such a turn. he has welcomed change. It is absolutely normal to change one’s values, viewpoints, beliefs as we go through life. As per psychologists, the values that are dear to us while we are students change when we enter corporate life. For example let us take honesty. While in school we are drilled on being honest and circumstances do make it easier to be honest. Once we enter the adult world, white lies, black lies, small lies and big lies become part of our social interactions. I went through phases of isms like atheism, communism, pluralism , agnosticism and I think I still do!!! Those who say that they will not change are the most foolish and the most dangerous.. Such foolishness leads to narrow-mindedn...

Through the the trees  And the lilting shadows I see her I spy her Bathed in orange glow  Her light beams  She peeps shyly So cool so warm With the lone star for company In the dark of the night Lending an ethereal glow I see her I spy her

In a haze of mist A sweep of memory A smile and a tear Aches and pains Laughter and sorrow Knots and ties Bonds and bondage Choice and submission Happiness and peace All in a mist A haze, a fog

Solitude is mesmerizing Under the moonlit sky The embers are getting cold I breathe in deeply Settling into my thoughts Staring at the lone star A waft of breeze Caresses me so gently Solitude indeed is mesmerising

Listening to my thoughts I had forgotten my voice within In the hustle and bustle of life It took me a weekend break To enjoy my own company So easy to lapse into mindfulness In the lap of nature

I am glad I took the trip on my own. It wasn't meant to be. Lot of learnings - 1. If it is not a definite YES then it is a no. During the planning stage in my enthusiasm I organised the complete journey for a group. Peer pressure does not stop with adolescence. Group dynamics is interesting to watch and painful sometimes. One drops out and like a pack of card the group dissolves. Before we say a Yes let us be sure. A whole lot of time and effort goes into planning hence it is very essential that we are sure of our participation. 2. Commitment- staying committed to your decision requires grit 3.  Being comfortable with oneself- this is a big eye opener. Having fun or enjoyment is relative. Learning to enjoy one's own company. I used to wonder how people could go on a trip alone. It makes a lot of sense. We need not depend on others moods or whims and fancies. It is so so simple and easy to please oneself compare to being in a group and catering to others comf...

I read with great sadness that a student who apparently was an academic topper hanged himself on the eve of the Board Exam. My heart grieves for the family. My condolences to them and his circle of friends. Somehow March is a terrible trying time for students. And so are the months when the results of the exams would be announced. So many young lives snuffed out in seconds. So let us understand that we cannot do away with exams.  But can we not make it easier for our children? Aren't people in professions other than Medicine and Engineering doing well in life? Indeed the reservation system and mark -centric education is stressful and more so in students who are in the General Category. So parents sell houses , transfer or give up jobs to be near the school they want their ward to be in. And the pressure mounts on the child. The young mind is guilty that the parents are making sacrifices and that he/she has to excel in the exams. If not what? Cannot parents and the school ...

I have been hooked to the Asianet awards function during this weekend. They have introduced many new categories. This trend is good as it encourages talent. What never ceases to surprise me is that the function always honours actors from the neighbouring state (Tamilnadu). The entertainment programs include songs and dances from Hindi and Tamil too. I am yet to see this inclusiveness in other award functions. May this open mindedness continue.

I got this forward on Whatsapp- Why just Rest in Peace? Why not Live in Peace. I loved this philosophy. So simple but so tough. I mused over this for a long time. Suddenly something triggered and my mind clouded up. I was feeling so irritated and down. It was like a heavy stone in my heart.Then I remembered the peace philosophy. Indeed so simple yet so tough. We are complicated beings and our thoughts can go so complicated. Immediately I switched off from what was bothering me. I realized it is JUST NOT worth wasting my otherwise peaceful Sunday. Like cobwebs being cleared, my mind saw light and I felt lightheaded again. Peace once again. And the evening winding with some favorite songs.....and a book....

Like thorns on my body Thorns on the rose Scales on the fish I hold on…. Yet alien it has become Comes along with pain and blood To let go If the end is peaceful Might as well let go

My soul is under deluge Three is the devil’s number I am metamorphosing I who talk and care Am being bound By whom.. My thoughts, my emotions Or is it them…