The prodigal writer
I am getting back to my blogging world after months. No excuses actually though I can come up with genuine ones !! ha ha ha!!
I pondered. I came up with so many topics to write a note on or rather opine on. I shall leave that for later. Let me pen my thoughts on a close friend's experience.
Recently a close friend's spouse wanted to have a smoke. He had given up smoking entirely as he had a major lung issue just a year ago. While he was on heavy medication which according to the doctor would take a toll on other organs like the kidney, liver, bones and even the eyes. For one long year she was on a project- to dish out food that would be safe and healthy. She ventured into organic food/organic/ oil/organic lentils etc. She was on a war path with his bacterial invasion.
Indeed it was an immense relief when the year trudged by and the doctor gave a clean chit to all the parameters.
Hence you can imagine her dismay and surprise when he said he was going to have a smoke! Visions of last year - days of stress / tension/ cooking the right food/ the big relief etc whizzed past her mind's eye. She began cajoling, reminding him of the traumatic past and of course played up the trump card, if you love me..... To her dismay he still had his smoke. She could not just understand how he could forget the issues he had grappled with. She could not understand how he could turn a blind eye just because he had recovered. She was horrified that he chose to ignore the love 'trump card' too. She cried, she sulked... to no avail.
She pondered for days. Why, why, why... swam in her mind.
She spoke to me. She just vented out her feelings. Here was a powerful learning.
No matter how much we teach/ advise/cajole/beg/plead , can we ever make a horse drink water unless it wants to....
All I could tell my friend was that her husband had to make his choice himself. She was powerless.
Such situations are common. I remember my mother battling with my father to reduce or stop his smoking. He stopped. But only when he chose to.
This is the same for all. Yet when it comes to oneself it is painful to wait and watch one's dear one destroy himself/herself. Letting go at this juncture is a gamble. What if... But then life is a gamble is it not. Learning is never without pain.
I pondered. I came up with so many topics to write a note on or rather opine on. I shall leave that for later. Let me pen my thoughts on a close friend's experience.
Recently a close friend's spouse wanted to have a smoke. He had given up smoking entirely as he had a major lung issue just a year ago. While he was on heavy medication which according to the doctor would take a toll on other organs like the kidney, liver, bones and even the eyes. For one long year she was on a project- to dish out food that would be safe and healthy. She ventured into organic food/organic/ oil/organic lentils etc. She was on a war path with his bacterial invasion.
Indeed it was an immense relief when the year trudged by and the doctor gave a clean chit to all the parameters.
Hence you can imagine her dismay and surprise when he said he was going to have a smoke! Visions of last year - days of stress / tension/ cooking the right food/ the big relief etc whizzed past her mind's eye. She began cajoling, reminding him of the traumatic past and of course played up the trump card, if you love me..... To her dismay he still had his smoke. She could not just understand how he could forget the issues he had grappled with. She could not understand how he could turn a blind eye just because he had recovered. She was horrified that he chose to ignore the love 'trump card' too. She cried, she sulked... to no avail.
She pondered for days. Why, why, why... swam in her mind.
She spoke to me. She just vented out her feelings. Here was a powerful learning.
No matter how much we teach/ advise/cajole/beg/plead , can we ever make a horse drink water unless it wants to....
All I could tell my friend was that her husband had to make his choice himself. She was powerless.
Such situations are common. I remember my mother battling with my father to reduce or stop his smoking. He stopped. But only when he chose to.
This is the same for all. Yet when it comes to oneself it is painful to wait and watch one's dear one destroy himself/herself. Letting go at this juncture is a gamble. What if... But then life is a gamble is it not. Learning is never without pain.
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