learnings

Throughout my life I have been sleeping late and rising late. So late that it would put anyone to shame! ( Indian housewife standards) I have been following Robin Sharma’s blogs and videos quite regularly. he speaks of the 5 am club. This is the club that all top leaders and CEOs belong to. There is a striking pattern among leaders of all ages. They are early risers. They make use of the ‘divine hours’ in planning for the day. This wisdom is ancient and one that Indians are aware of. After having watched one of Robin Sharma’s recent videos I decided I would wake up early. Somehow 5 am is daunting and scary.. Scary for what reason? Please don’t ask me.. Anyways in all good earnestness I set the alarm at 6 am on my mobile phone. I can see you smiling sarcastically! But yes 6 am is indeed early for me. I kept the mobile phone away from the bed so as to jump up from the bed and take a step or two to shut off the alarm. I woke up and followed the 20 20 20 rule. 20 minutes of exercise/ ...

We battle with these 2 questions almost every day. I have reduced my shopping to a large extent. Every time I want to buy something I put across these questions to myself. Of course a mini war goes on between my body /heart and mind. I argue and counter argue. I had tried several methods previously to keep a check on my spending. This method is foolproof. Inevitably the mind being the rational creature wins. If you are in doubt about who is answering you- the heart or mind- all you have to check is who gives the quickest answer. Obviously is would be the heart. Then do remember that there is no quick way to success. Hence you have enough evidence to disown the heart here. Follow your rational self. It is indeed tough but then which path of goodness and success has been easy? Gradually it would become a habit and the questions would pop into your mind when you are faced with spending/buying !!

I am sharing this based on the learning from the popular book,’How full is your Bucket’ by Donald O. Clifton and Tom Rath. Each of us has an invisible bucket which we empty or fill depending on what we say or do. We also have an invisible dipper which we use to fill or dip our buckets and also that of others. When we use positive words and actions towards others we are filling their bucket and in turn ours. When our buckets are full we are happier, more productive and healthier. When we use negativity towards others we are dipping into their buckets and ours. We thus dip into the buckets rendering them empty. When our buckets are empty we are unhappier, drained, less productive and unhealthier! We have a choice- do we fill or dip ? Do we want full buckets or empty ones?

I have often overheard parents commenting that their wards are watching too much of television. If you dig a little deeper, it is not surprising to find that the parents are doing the same! Research has proved that children model on the behaviour of parents. Early childhood is the most crucial period in the development of traits and character. Children role model their parents. It is perfectly fine to watch a few programs together and even have a discussion. But parents especially mothers tend to be glued to serials/ soap shows. They get annoyed when they are disturbed. They do not welcome phone calls or visitors during this time. All these are imbibed by the children who begin to accept it as a value. When they, in turn, exhibit the same behaviour the parents cannot tolerate, leading to conflicts. Hence dear parents, watch your step, I mean your TV viewing!

I shifted house and had begun to lounge around to work with my laptop. But in lieu of my previous post Vitamin Sunshine I jumped into  crafting my standing desk once again. I pulled out the small wooden laptop table ( home made) on which I have placed the external key pad ( very economical). I placed the laptop on a small coffee table ( very economical). So now I am back to standing/ shifting on both legs to work.. Yes I do sit if I have to work longer. My time on social sites has reduced ! I am happy I am burning calories ( standing/ shifting on legs helps burn calories faster than sitting) It liberates me.. I am not tied down to a chair. I can take breaks faster and with more ease!! I realized how lazy I used to get when I was ‘sitting’. I am also aware I need to take care of varicose veins etc. Fortunately being on the wrong side of 40s my body does not hesitate to whine.. I then do pamper myself.. It is worth it..

Today I took a share auto to work. Share auto-rickshaws are a common means of public transport in my city ( Chennai). They are just more rickety and bigger than the yellow auto rickshaw. But they are far cheaper and safer. As the hot dusty air ran through my shampooed hair, a young, pregnant woman clambered in. One look at her and my heart melted. She was looking so tired, sweaty and clumsy. She was holding onto her tummy as if to protect her baby from the rough ride. Flashback : me heavily pregnant but travelling always in the cool confines of a car, looking healthy as a ripe plum! Cut to the present: I sent a thank you to the Maker for having me born to my parents and comforts. Learning : 1. To be thankful-Look at people who do not have as much as you. Result: gratitude and joy 2.To be envious-Look at people who have more than you. Result : pain and sorrow Make your choice

Recently my sister in law ( who lives in Adelaide, Australia) remarked that her physician had noted that Asians especially Indians lacked in Vitamin D!! I found it strange initially as we live in the tropics and have a good exposure to the sun. But wait a minute.. Though we have plenty of sun do we actually make use of the sunlight? Rather we avoid the sun, the life giver.. Cultural reasons:( these stand out to be the foremost for avoiding the sun) Due to the colonial hangover and the craze for the white skin we avoid the sun. Every matrimonial advertisement justifies this. Hence we see the female gender dressed up as Neptunians – armored and covered from head to toe. Scarves and dupattas are creatively used. It would put jack Sparrow to shame! In fact sometimes I wonder why we decry the purdah!! Economic: There is a shift happening: from the agrarian to the manufacturing/ bpo / IT, from the rural to the urban. Osteoporosis, decreased immune system, skin problems are in vogue. Ju...

Yesterday's paper carries an article on a Delhi High Court judgement on a divorce issue. A woman had pleaded divorce on the grounds of cruelty. Her husband was involved in an extramarital affair. The court has passed judgement that she cannot claim cruelty as the husband had proved he was not neglecting her needs. I was amazed on reading this. What about her mental peace, her emotional needs? What about the attack on her self esteem? What would be the impact on the children if there are ? Marriage is between two adults and if there is a third one involved illicitly, definitely it is painful. It is emotional abuse. I wondered at the judgement. Is the Human Rights Commission going to keep quiet? Or am I getting it wrong ....

A deep learning I received today from a good old friend. As usual we were discussing several things under the sun when the topic of suffering came up.  There are so many who are in pain, in suffering and in turn hurting themselves and others. As I mentioned this my friend said suffering is when we don’t accept reality… when we do not let go…When we persist on ‘holding’ then we automatically suffer. Such wisdom in the words. When we face death, hurt, betrayal we do not let it go. We engulf ourselves in the pain. Since it is very difficult to let go, our body and mind gets used to pampering us with the pain. We get entangled in the pain. It becomes addictive. Then we suffer- suffer from headaches to acidity, ulcers to cancer.

My mother reminded me of an ancient story today. A mouse was unhappy with itself so it requested a sage to turn it into a mountain/ bigger animal and even a human. Each time it turned into something  it ended being unhappy. It realised that it was happiest being a mouse. I have heard this story in my childhood. It struck me how deep the wisdom is. Be happy with who you are. Be aware of yourself.. Each one is unique. Let us not compare ourselves with anyone…..

Of late it has become a style statement to announce one's personal celebrations like birth/engagement/marriage/death on huge flex banners/hoardings. Each of these are endorsed with pictures and symbols of various political parties. I wish the government would do something about them. All these are made of non biodegradable materials. It is visual pollution and distraction too. It is strange that we advise the youth against posting pictures on public portals and yet these families post pictures of their daughters ( attained puberty!!) so publicly. How is it that suddenly there is a grip of power ? Is there too much money to flout? Today I cam across the posters of a young couple to be soon married alongside a particular person ( whom I do not wish to reveal as I want to live) and few others alongside Netaji! Definitely Netaji would not have wanted to be used like this. But then who cares? As a student of history my heart burned, my eyes flamed up and my tongue thickened. Tears ...

We have shared a tumultuous relationship. Right now we are in love. I love to hit the gym.. be it 20 min or 35 min or 45 or 60 min .. the last slot is very rare tho! Often people have commented on their dislike for the gym. My friends prefer tai chi/ yoga ( I too like yoga), pilate, aerobics, zumba, salsa to going to the gym. They say it is very mundane and boring. I have tried out yoga- which I do give due respect and credit- and aerobics. I hated aerobics. The instructor wasn’t kind. I hate math so counting steps, asking my brain to turn left and right was tortuous for me. I was the clumsy oaf in the class and it was not easy. Actually I liked yoga so much because the instructor was a gem! Kudos to teachers! At the gym, I am on my own. The trainer does peep in to see if I am on the move! I do not have to count. The machine does it. I relax. I speed up and slow down at my will. Music may blast. I am in my own world. Sometimes I listen to audio books on audible ( thanks to ear plug...

I don not know if such a word exists- it just came to my mind. Receiving is starkly different from accepting so if there are receptors there can be acceptors.. my logic strictly. Type A- One who can ‘accept’ after a bout of crying/ self talk/ sulking and finally phew, accepts Type B- One who can ‘accept’ after a bout of anger and ego bashing Type C- Nonchalantly accepts Type D-Accepts calmly   Which one are you? As long as one accepts.. that is the key concept here. If we don’t it would grow cancerous killing us and sucking the life out of others around us.

I am getting back to my blogging world after months. No excuses actually though I can come up with genuine ones !! ha ha ha!! I pondered. I came up with so many topics to write a note on or rather opine on. I shall leave that for later. Let me pen my thoughts on a close friend's experience. Recently a close friend's spouse wanted to have a smoke. He had given up smoking entirely as he had a major lung issue just a year ago. While he was on heavy medication which according to the doctor would take a toll on other organs like the kidney, liver, bones and even the eyes. For one long year she was on a project- to dish out food that would be safe and healthy. She  ventured into organic food/organic/ oil/organic lentils etc.  She was on a war path with his bacterial invasion. Indeed it was an immense relief when the year trudged by and the doctor gave a clean chit to all the parameters. Hence you can imagine her dismay and surprise when he said he was going to have a smoke! ...