learnings

 I just read an article about a prediction that personal devices will know more about your emotional state than your own family members. I wonder if it would be able to differentiate between distress and eustress. Would it be information overload? Would it serve a positive outcome? Would it advise us to see a therapist or counsellor?  On the other side it would be helping us to manage our emotions better. Exciting times indeed

Towards the end of year it is always a slice of amazement on how quickly the year has gone by. The New year 2021 is already just around the corner.  I hear myself saying that being homebound suits me. I am loving it. The lockdown days were more an adventure- crisis management- stocking things; using stuff in a minimalist manner with the thought- what if we run out and we aren't able to get it. Even now I step out to the usual grocery places only when needed. I was excited that I did not have to dust the furniture ad shelves as there was hardly any dust gathering due to the lack of vehicle movement. How clean and green my neighbourhood was! I decluttered as if there is no tomorrow. Phew I didn't realise I had hoarded so much ( and this after having a ritual of springleaning twice or thrice a year)  I learned to 'let go'- materials, mementos, gifts and nostalgia. I have taken up reading more- books, actual books and not just kindle. I enjoyed dabbling on various online pl...

  I stepped into a private bank. It was their lunch time but I was allowed to enter.   I see a bunch of officials sharing lunch. They were laughing and talking aloud. I waited a couple of minutes. The security notified the group. One youngster walked up to the counter. His shirt was so wrinkled. He had a bearded and quite an unkempt appearance. Not surprisingly he was not sure of the Deposit interest rates. He struggled to locate the forms. Meanwhile the group continued to have lunch in full view and gossip loudly. I now know who has in laws issue; who is planning the addition of family; parenting plans etc. I took the forms and exited knowing very well I would not seek its services.

  It  is always exciting to be aware of people who recharge us. All of us are surrounded by all kinds.  A friend and I had a long, deep conversation on our respective behaviour through the last few years. It was an interesting conversation peppered with our individual experiences. Most importantly our take aways were: we had not judged  Seeking approval from ourselves is important we are making efforts to evolve debated and discussed between Advaita and Visishita Advaita philosophy  ( without emotions ruling us) the poignant beauty of the 'here and now' as discussed in the Bhagavad Gita.....  We seem to be human 'doing' rather than human 'being' .  Our conversation flowed like a meandering river that left us so charged.  Have you had such an experience recently?  

This evening I received the grim news. A young girl I knew had taken her life. I am still numb with grief and questions.  She said she had never been in love.  She said she had never experienced the thrill of romance. Yet she did not wait to experience life. Why my girl why? 

 I am entering into my second month of deleting apps from my phone. I am surprisingly not missing them or feeling left out.Interestingly when I visit the social media apps on the laptop I spend less than five minutes! Somehow the layout / ease of use of the app on the laptop also does not appeal.  A couple of days ago when my iphone got updated it began giving messages about the number of times I pick up the phone and also for what purpose. Wow. technology and the company is actually helping me to understand my habit better. I realised I have to cut down on the number of unnecessary times I have begun picking up the phone! I was merely looking at the phone ,swiping from whatsapp to google news unnecessarily. It had become a habit after deleting social media apps. I had substituted a behaviour. So now my phone has warned me about it. I am amazed.  Today I kept a book next to me. Each time I picked up the phone to swipe, I would pause, place it back and pick up the book. I ...

 Oct 1 onwards I have had no social media apps on my phone. For the first three days it was a constant reminder. By the second week of Oct I had got used to not having the apps on my phone. Now it is almost a month. It has not been as difficult as I thought it would be. Neither did it actually take the '3 weeks' time advocated by self development gurus. (I am also guilty). 

 I deleted the FB app from my phone on Sep 29th evening after watching The Social Dilemma.  Sep 30th: Time crawled. I actually sat doing nothing. I picked up a book.  I felt restless and began to scroll LinkedIn as if it were a social networking page.  I paused. What am I doing? Am I substituting one for the other? I didn’t peek into FB the whole day.  Oct 1 - I checked FB from laptop for less than ten min. I did not sit. I stood and checked. Profundity. I realised my urge  to reply to comments or posts had reduced. Before I got hooked more I shut my laptop.  Oct 1-1 afternoon- I have uninstalled LinkedIn from phone. 

  It is my sincere hope that no one misses this short film. I am glad I have always kept notifications off.  AI is upon us, practically, interwoven in our lives. I had always wondered about the polarisation happening in India; whatsapp groups breaking up long term friendship and causing heartaches.; conspiracy theories where people have denied the existence of COVID 19; some even believing that the earth is flat! We have been played; we will continue to be played by the tech giants. Can we please not just blame our kids and each other for the being addicted to the screen. We are  mere puppets on a chain. I uninstalled Facebook from my phone. I uninstalled all unnecessary apps too. Yes I do have my whatsapp but I am also going to be wary of the news that trickles in. I enjoyed the rain today whilst keeping my phone far away from me. I do not know how long it would be before I install FB on my phone. 

  Shraddhanjali- a  tribute. SP Balasubramanian is no more. SPB was how he was called by fans. The city of Madras aka Chennai is synonymous with this singing legend. His mellifluous voice is an emotion. His voice is part of my school and college times. His songs coloured our crushes,infatuations, first love, friendship and break ups. The song Anjali anjali is so poignant that I still break into tears. It was the song that my brother used to sing when he was at his romantic best! It was a dead give away! His songs embraced my difficult years. It is interesting to note that everyday, for the past so many decades one would hear SPB songs somewhere in the city.  For a man who has sung more than 40,000 songs, recorded 20 songs in a day, acted, dubbed, being a flautist SPB was so grounded. He literally walked the talk. He respected life; respected others. He was so humble never failing to appreciate talent. He remained grateful to his past, to his mentors, to the people whom he...

  I have begun a new volunteering project. I am now part of a group of passionate people who are giving Spoken English classes to underprivileged and orphaned students of a Trust in my city. Two girls aged 15 and 17 are assigned to me. One is bubbly while the other is slightly withdrawn.  These classes are huge learnings. I realise that there are no examples in the typical rhymes and lessons that the girls can relate to. One of them did not know what 'toast' is. Their curiosity shook me.  Their daily routine, growing up without parents and relatives, their small worlds made me realise how we take our privileges for granted. Today when I showed them some pictures of landscapes they asked me if such places existed!   

  I was contemplating on buying a smaller water bottle for  my bedside. I had shifted furniture due to this work from home situation. I had picked up a practical bedside organiser to place my cellphone, kindle etc. How to fit in my existing bottle -so the plan was to buy a new one.  This morning as I sipped water from the bottle that sits at my work table- voila! I realised all I had to do was exchange the bottles. A simple shift , a small adjustment, that's it. Saved a trip to the shop in these times and also did a little bit for the environment.  So this a happier, hydrated me. I mused how little shifts bring happiness.

I lovingly gazed at the fresh tomatoes I had bought. Every morning and evening I would hold each one tenderly. I would turn them around. I would check if they were turning soft. This morning as I was checking on my tomatoes I paused. Do I do this to myself? Am I taking care of myself? Am I taking stock of myself - have I gone soft? have I turned harder? I put on a healing piece of music. Sat Still. Closed my eyes. Just three minutes. I thanked the Universe. And I am back....

I was experimenting with the position of my tiny work table. I faced the wall as I wanted to be near the electric point- too bland for me; the mirror- I kept looking at myself more! I then came near the window -it was to my left- I would peek out to get the glimpse of a branch. Till this morning, spiked by coffee I turned the table with me facing the window. Voila. That tiny shift did wonders. I lift my eyes to see the miniscule yet such uplifting greenery; I get more natural light streaming in. I got extra space outside the table to place my coffee cup/water bottle. All these resulted in me opening my blog to post this.  Just wow- that's how I feel. Have you ever felt so with a tiny shift?

One of the issues with video calls- apart from staring at the main speaker I tend to stare at my own video in that corner. I keep checking if I am looking ok. I miss a few points. It is too much stress - so said an acquaintance 🙃. Interesting feedback I thought. It can get stressful because we are not used to to staring one on one. In physical meetings we can look at others ( which is very interesting) and we can even go a bio break. Whilst in home office video calls it is expected to keep focus. My students hence, keep the video and audio off. When I call out their name he/ she will switch on. I don’t take offence as now I understand how tough it must be for them to keep focussing on teachers ( who themselves would be very conscious) through the day. 

It is interesting to note how we tend to live in boxes. Those who longed for family time; those who craved for work from home, those who 'wanted' time to read/cook/try out a hobby/sleep more etc etc. The same people claim they would be happier if these were according to what one wished in smaller doses. The same people who always live at the edge of whichever box they lived in before Corona. If we reflect or observe the people around us, all of us are living it out the same way we lived before Corona. I am talking of the Attitude. That has not changed. The 'worrier', the sorrowful', the pessimist, the realist, the optimist, the joyful, the cynical, the cribber etc all continue to live in the spectrum. The degree would have changed which is natural. We are consistently banging against the sides of the box. If now we can pause; stop the banging and remain in the box savouring the ingredients... I am doing this and enjoying it. What better lesson to be in the here and...

Over the years it had become a habit to drink less water. Since my thirst quotient was low I procrastinated the very act of drinking water. I could survive on a glass of water through a regular day. Of course it began to have its effect on my metabolism. Now I did try several water bottles- plastic , glass, steel, colours and designs to inspire me to drink. To no avail. Till I saw my friend’s college going daughter sipping water constantly from a water bottle which has a straw. Bingo I loved this. I bought a bottle from which I could now sip water. What a remarkable turnaround. I love sipping water than drinking. Just the process of not opening the bottle makes it one step easier. That’s it. A step easier. Ah my life is so much more hydrated now