learnings

  With great fascination I read an article on these otherwise ignored insects. I also watched a brief video on cicadas by Sir David Attenborough.. here . 17 years they live underground. At the end of 17 years they magically surface from beneath on to the surface; they signal their arrival by their deafening orchestra.. They live for a very short while, mate, lay eggs and die.. in their death they leave behind themselves to make the soil richer in nutrients. How humbling.. they just be.. they just do.. As the most intelligent species we complicate our lives with our own meta cognition.. Can we just be.. just do... Try it out.. it is a huge release.. as I practise this, I gain more peace.. I have a lot more to learn and evolve. 

  Hey Flipkart I am fed up with your emails spamming my inbox.. may I know which genius designed the 'unsubscribe' feature? It is the most annoying feature now.. I have tried (for months)to unsubscribe, yet the very next morning before the sun rises, the flipkart mail is in my inbox..  Repeated attempts to unsubscribe has failed.. Incidentally Gmail that has a fantasti spam/junk box fails before flipkart..  For the past few months I have tried every single way to unsubscribe and push it deep down the spam drain.. No avail.. It magically appears..  This has STOPPED me from even checking out your platform... You have lost one customer..forever.. 

  It is with a heavy heart that I pen these lines.. My friend succumbed to COVID this morning.. He had just turned 60. It is a recent friendship. He was part of the Training fraternity I worked with.. For he's a jolly good fellow--- that was him.. In floral printed shirt, glinting eyes and a big grin he won all of us over.  In the last two weeks that he was at the hospital, I connected with him. He was unable to speak. I sent him voice messages.. I wanted to do something to cheer him up. I asked him if I could read a story or a poem.  It is thanks to him that I revisited the poems I grew up learning at high school. With great excitement I found my favourite poems.. and I read them out.   I am grateful to you my friend.. you kept inspiring me till the last minute.. May you rest in peace.. 

  With a heavy heart I read about the arrest of Sushil Kumar- two time Olympian wrestler.. He is just 38 and is arrested for assaulting and murder of his 23 year old student..  We associate discipline and sportsmanship with sportsmen..Time has proven several times that many have risen and fallen in the same speed.  Lack of self regulation---- has smeared the reputation of the wrestling federation, my country's , demolished the hearts of so many aspiring youth...destroyed families and lives.

  Today, after ages, my family sat down for an impromptu breakfast together... It was a simple meal yet so wonderful.. We sat down together, enjoyed the meal and chatted casually about the crispiness of the vadai, the tasty coconut chutney and the steaming coffee all served hot by our ever smiling cook..  I was amazed at the joyful feeling and  the wonder that coursed through me.. We are just three members and we eat at different times.. The only meal I try to have together is the sunday lunch with my spouse.. My mother does not join.. So this was a special morning.. Mom, spouse and myself sat and had a meal together...  Such a satiated feeling it left in me and I shared this happiness with few others.. it struck me how much we miss out these little moments in our daily life... It is indeed a privilege and blessing to have meals together... happiness lies in  such moments.. 

  I am reading the 15th chapter in the book titled Caste by Isabel Wilkerson....  I also watched the film Karnan- a recent tamil movie.. it is a slow burn film.... I am thankful I watched the movie after reading Caste by Wilkerson...  I was able to put things into perspective. It is so amazing to note how a writer in the US has drawn parallels with the caste system here and in her country... Using facts , history and geography she has put things into a wonderful narrative... The film and the book indicate 'muscle memory'. Wilkerson says  1. how the oppressed and the oppressor have behaved culturally over generations.. So much so that the servility of the oppressed is taken for granted.. This is so relevant here and is pointed out in the film-- the protagonist reminds the cop how the latter got angry with the 'steadfast gaze'  'standing tall'  by the oppressed men brought to the police station.. These were not criminals.. just a few village elders.. Particul...

  Zoom tempts me back to using its portal.. Now Zoom has the 'blur' facility which was first offered by Google Meet.  It is one of the most useful features for obvious reasons.. I have yet yet mastered how to keep my outline from dancing or bobbing when I use a background image.. Lately I discovered the video filters, where one can have the eyebrows made up and lips tooo!!  it is so cool. Zoom has made it many steps easier.. The reluctance to put on makeup for an official call no longer exists. Thank you Zoom... I would now love it if Zoom could bring dress filters like having a jacket on for official purpose..And hairstyle too.. 

  Each time a game occurs I am learning to respond better.. Yet there is that dull feeling that lingers when I choose to respond. I feel good a little later and even appreciate myself over the response chosen.. The intensity and frequency of my 'reactions' have dulled over the years.. Still that dull feeling lingers... will this fade away? yes i am sure.. What about you?

  When I am not able to decipher your expression or mood or emotion then I know the game has begun. Being a verbally expressive person, I feel exasperated when you/he/she throws a stone wall.  Earlier I had the bandwidth to discuss or decipher. Now I do not have. Especially in these difficult times when there is so much of grief and sorrow outside, what we can do to help is keep each other's spirits up within the walls of one's home..  Is that too much to expect....

  'I am moody, mamma,'...said a 3 year old while on a hike... It helped immensely, for his mother swooped down to carry him till his mood lightened. They continued their walk peacefully. The scenario may be very cute. Behind this are hours of hard work put in by the parents especially the mother. She has been relentless in how she communicates with the child.  Guiding a child to express one's feeling helps the child and the parent. For this the parents have to accept that their child has a mind of its own.  Once feelings are expressed, managing the feelings becomes a step easier... 

  Covid Vaccine hesitancy   I would recommend this particular video.  Thanks to  alearningaday for posting about this video.  I am no expert. Yet from what is gathered from affected families of close friends - doctors are truly wondering why the concerned family has not vaccinated ... Vaccinated means you are 80 percent safer' lesser need for that 'bed' which can be used by a needier person..  Patients are sitting around, lying around on hospital floors- first hand information from affected members.  My friend's husband kept postponing; so did my friend.. now they are feeling dismal.. she ran from pillar to post for an icu bed..  the private ambulance fleeced her as the govt ambulances were not available. She managed to get a bed in a hospital endorsed by her community and went in with some recommendation..  Yet another friend says she understands the pain but is not vaccinated as yet. It has not stopped her from helping others etc etc.. Phi...

  In my fortnightly call with my friend from overseas, he paused to ask me, how are you doing?.. slow and measured.... From the minute we are online, I have no difficulty in conversing in full speed. There is so much to share. Yet each time I am asked, ... I pause in my mind... how am I actually doing..  I find it difficult to look into the eye; I struggle for a few seconds.. Later at night as I reflected over the question I muse on the power of this simple question... to enquire of the well being of another and also as a self reflection.

  The sense of smell is most valued in today's pandemic. While chatting with my daughter in law I heard of an acquaintance who had lost her sense of smell due to Covid 19. It was also a time when the wildfire was ravaging California. There was an instance when someone had to get her out because she could not smell the fire close home.  How terrifying! Did we even associate the 'sense of smell' with life-saving?   The bitter coffee seeds emit such a lovely sense- altering fragrance hence they are used in perfumes stores. We whiff at a perfume; inhale the coffee seed aroma and move to the next. So what did you stop to smell today? Can we be mindful to acknowledge this wonderful gift we have? Can you pause to inhale a fragrance?