Posts

On Apologising the right way

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' Apologise in person. If you keeping telling how sorry you are to others it is pathetic guilt!' Pearls of wisdom in a South Korean rom com (Pinnochio).  I have been in this situation decades earlier. Presently I am more courageous. Here  my courage does not signify absence of fear. I am afraid of the backlash yet I do not hesitate to apologise if I am wrong. I am  accountable for my actions. Very often we are trapped in our guilt and embarrassment hence it is easier to vent or express to the third person. We then form our narrative that since we 'feel' apologetic it is ok. Soon the narrative will deceive us saying that we 'are ' or 'were' apologetic and why the wronged person could not see it through. Have you been there, done that? It is not late. apologise in person for otherwise it is pathetic guilt!

Count down vs count up- Perspective rocks!

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  (google images) While working out in the gym,  the rowing equipment had a different setting. I usually set a timer for ten minutes. And the count down begins. this time due to the different settings the timer (I didn't know to reset and it refused to budge) worked in the ascending order.  Interestingly in spite of the time slot remaining the same 10 minute- I felt a discomfort! I was so used to countdown that I felt uncomfortable seeing the numbers going up; I felt the time climbing up seemed to me like I am climbing uphill- I have a long route ahead. Whereas during countdown I am happier that I am inching near my destination sooner.   Foolishly I grinned at myself. Same time slot; same equipment; same effort yet a difference in perspective caused discomfort.  How often I have experienced similar discomfort unnecessarily as I took time to change my perspective!!

Quiet quitting..ambition..personality..

 Within  months of reading several articles raving about quiet quitting, I read a recent one with amusement. A journalist  had interviewed a recruiter going by the pseudonym Justin. Justin cut back his working hours and and could be practically called the 'father' of quiet quitting concept.  6 months later the journalist caught up with him and found out that Justin has now taken a different stance. He is putting in 50 hours a week. The reasons were several- job market coo ling off, recession etc.  I was reminded of a conversation I had with my son. I use articles (confirmation bias) and research surveys to my advantage when suited. My son pointed out the flimsiness of my arguments. Theories and research surveys will come and go. We ought to know what would suit us, our personality, our value system and our needs. This applies to our personal and professional front.  The concept of quiet quitting has always been there. It has the fancy label now. As a Profes...

Manikarnika- cremation ghat at Varanasi

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  At 11.00 pm three of us women were dropped off at the main road. We walked through very narrow dark alleys to reach the ghat.  A friend of mine suggested we visit at midnight. Not nearly midnight but we made it. Very bravely we went through the maze of alleys; fortunately for us we met one odd or soul or the other who guided us. When we reached the cremation area we found only men there- some were selling logs of wood for the cremation; some were tonsuring their heads ( a ritual followed during death ceremony) and some were seated staring into the sky or at us. One chap was selling tea. One chap offered to give us the 'guide' know how of the place. Politely declining and ignoring the looks we climbed up the stairs- yes there is this three storied building with huge furnaces where the cremation is done. The electric crematorium is also housed here. We climbed up to get a closer look. We could not take the fuming heat. We stood; observed a few seconds of silence, staring into ...

Mukthi Bhavan at Varanasi- the enlightenment homestay

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  I visited Mukthi Bhavan out of sheer curiosity. I am glad I did. It helped me remove a lot of misconceptions too. This place is otherwise known as the Death Hotel.  It does sound morbid. But a visit to this place removes all such thoughts and feelings. I was greeted very politely at their office. I was directed inside to meet with one of the caretakers who was dressed in white kurta and dhoti.  It is an old haveli with ten rooms. It is managed smoothly by the Dalmia trust.  It welcomes people on their death beds- especially those who are terminally ill. The dying person must check in with a family member. The are checked in for two weeks. The room is given free along with cooking utensils and an LPG gas cylinder. Usually families stay in one room; very rarely if they are big in number they take up two rooms. The family is expected to take care of their daily chores. All help is rendered to achieve the last wishes of the dying person. I heard of one person wanting t...

Revive Fit- a gym for Apple watch users in Chennai

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  My journey to fitness began at this unobtrusive gym. I began with trepidation. I had too many fears within- would my body withstand? would my knees go for a toss? what if I overwork and collapse? and above all I hate the ache of sore muscles. So I specified that I wasn't here for weight loss.  Revive Fit began as a popular physiotherapy centre owned by a very humble and soft spoken Keshav Tantri. A fitness module was gradually included due to popular demand.  My initial 3 months was a gradual entry into endurance and stamina building.  During the  next 3 months, my trainer, a young enthusiastic and passionate learner (Jai) took it upon himself to get a few of us hooked to tech-fitness.  A group of young women using Apple watches had formed a group to challenge and compete. Now I am a beneficiary of the regime too. Jai, sensing their motivation and grit, began to familiarise with the varied fitness workout features in Apple watch. He has begun to create fa...

Korean rom com... 💓💖💗💘💖

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  I began watching period drama initially on Netflix- European, British and Oriental. I got hooked on with Korean stories- both period and modern.  Ah theses rom com series are just perfect. They are  mushy mushy and mushy, with soulful songs, beautiful landscapes, cuteness overloaded, costumes and make up that one could gaze upon, lot of appetising food scenes, families and friends thrown in, have scenes that tug at your heart... that lingering feel good dreamy after effect..... I do not miss my Mills& Boon any longer (😂).