On bullying

Scene 1
2 teenagers - good friends

One dominates the other on all matters from choice of clothes to lifestyle. The other does not want to earn displeasure so acquiesces in the garb of friendship and being nice.
The former is insecure ( wrong parenting) and to mask her insecurities she dominates over the other through persuasion, advice and emotional blackmail.

Result: The one who is nice ends up unhappy and dissatisfied

This is bullying.

Scene 2
Husband and wife

One dominate / influences/ tries to change.. Same reasons. The power of control.

Result: One who is controlled ends up as a simmering volcano.. may erupt anytime.

This is bullying

Scene 3
Teacher and student
There are all reasons and excuses for the teacher to be typically dominant.

Result : Obviously the student suffers

This is bullying

Scene 4
Parent and child
All excuses to dominate over the child . 'I know what is good for you' is the common refrain.

Result: insecure child who grows up to become the bullying friend/spouse/teacher!


And of course LOVE is the underlying theme. When even identical twins cannot be identical in their thought and actions how can another individual (be it the parent) say,' I know what is good for you!'

I quote Gibran here agani and again
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.