RIP Sherine Mathew
It was with great pain I read about the death of the little girl Sherine aka Saraswathi in USA.
The child had some special needs and the adopted parents failed in their duties to understand her and parent accordingly.
One may ask if they were her biological parents would they have done so. Well there is no clear cut answer. Biological parents have also been known to be harmful to their wards.
Parenting is no easy task. Yet society puts tremendous pressure on couples to become parents. It is a crime towards the child. It is amazing to note how we think that parenting comes naturally. Maternal or parental instincts may be present naturally in most of us. But parenting is not instinct. It is a task that comes with huge responsibility. To be responsible means one has to devote time and effort. Here effort is engagement- engagement with focused attention. So before considering having a child biologically or via adoption the couple has to consider if they are physically, mentally , emotionally and financially ready. Here readiness also speaks of being open. Yes sometimes heredity or environmental factors can impact and children are born with some special needs. Are we open to this? Can we equip ourselves then to learn how to take care of such children? It may sound cruel or too forthright but these are questions a couple needs to talk about. Every family will have its own history. Later there should be no blame game. A child thus conceived will be nurtured well.
Saraswathi may have been abandoned due to several reasons- poverty , gender, abuse, minor age of parent etc.
When she would have been considered for adoption by a couple in the USA it would have been life changing. The couple would have been utopian in their dream
Of giving life to a child. Yet when there were challenges life turned into death.
The child had some special needs and the adopted parents failed in their duties to understand her and parent accordingly.
One may ask if they were her biological parents would they have done so. Well there is no clear cut answer. Biological parents have also been known to be harmful to their wards.
Parenting is no easy task. Yet society puts tremendous pressure on couples to become parents. It is a crime towards the child. It is amazing to note how we think that parenting comes naturally. Maternal or parental instincts may be present naturally in most of us. But parenting is not instinct. It is a task that comes with huge responsibility. To be responsible means one has to devote time and effort. Here effort is engagement- engagement with focused attention. So before considering having a child biologically or via adoption the couple has to consider if they are physically, mentally , emotionally and financially ready. Here readiness also speaks of being open. Yes sometimes heredity or environmental factors can impact and children are born with some special needs. Are we open to this? Can we equip ourselves then to learn how to take care of such children? It may sound cruel or too forthright but these are questions a couple needs to talk about. Every family will have its own history. Later there should be no blame game. A child thus conceived will be nurtured well.
Saraswathi may have been abandoned due to several reasons- poverty , gender, abuse, minor age of parent etc.
When she would have been considered for adoption by a couple in the USA it would have been life changing. The couple would have been utopian in their dream
Of giving life to a child. Yet when there were challenges life turned into death.
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