Parental bullying??????

As a society and community we are in a constant flux.  A few years ago I remember a colleague asking me if I would ever accept it if my son declared that he was a homosexual. Without blinking and without even pausing to think I said from the heart that I would accept unconditionally. I would accept my child as he or she is.

Often I come across parents who are stuck at the bottom levels of Maslow’s pyramid – that of prestige and honor. They do not even try to upgrade themselves. How can one expect the child to upgrade him or herself?

I happened to read an interview given by Ricky Kej (for those who don’t know he has bagged the Best New Age Album Award at the Grammy this year). It pained me to read how he had to strike a deal with his father that Post High school, Ricky would do his dentistry degree provided he would be allowed to pursue music full time. (Obviously children are financially dependent on us till..)This scenario will keep repeating in different families across India. We blame the educational system wholly. What are the options a middle class family has?

 What about the ‘not letting go’ syndrome? We cling on to our children unto our graves! 

A student (even to this day my heart aches) has brainwashed himself with the thought that whatever Mummyji does or tells or decides is the best. He had a wonderful chance to go abroad for higher studies but was denied because she wanted him to be near her. For post grad, her answer was the same. For the sake of satiating her desires he allowed his wings to be clipped. The Power of Parenting!!

Ah, don’t we love to lord over our children. Parents are society’s best bullies. Bullying is learnt at home!  We disguise our bullying in the name of Love, Honor, Dreams, Fear, Safety and Prestige etc!!