learnings

I speak of two instances that happened recently. I happened to take a session on Emotional Intelligence to a group of 20-22 year olds. It was not surprising that the EQ is much lower in comparison to their age. It was surprising to hear from them that they would change in a few years time. Now I had the last laugh. When I disagreed they did not believe me. Well they would learn the hard way or maybe never. An individual's personality is set between the age of 2- 6 years. I have of course mentioned this in my earlier blogs too. This evening as I walked home I chanced upon three boys ( 7-8 years)from a neighboring slum. A truck whizzed past. Immediately one of the boys flung his school bag and ran behind the truck hoping to get a free ride. He couldn't catch up though. He returned only to scold the other two for not having picked up. He was literally bullying them and they obeyed submissively. I tried to intervene. He booed me out! I was amused. Also I foresaw a future gan...

Today my colleague and I were having a discussion on art and poetry. Suddenly it struck us that we are able to indulge in art and poetry when we are either feeling low or very happy. Mediocre state of mind brings out nothing. Well is it not the same in any sphere? Great artists, singers experience several such moments in their daily life. Typically the best work comes out then. This is because when we are melancholic or very happy we are totally absorbed in the mood and it helps us to get into a flow- a flow of poetry, art, music etc. As Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the eminent psychologist, has described such a state as 'flow'. This is a state when we are totally submerged/absorbed in an activity. How wonderful is our mind, our life! During such heightened moods we create! Mediocre life, mediocre output. Let us enjoy the highs and lows. Let us also enjoy the mediocre in between for the balance.

I often hear people complaining about the present generation. I have begun interacting with children belonging to Grades 6,7 and 8. To my lovely surprise I find them so vocal and so smart. Technology is not new to them. They are not afraid to voice their views. They have the 'accept me as I am, this is ME' attitude. I love this about them. They are so confident. I immediately recalled my school days where questioning was discouraged. I was deemed the rebel when I questioned or was vocal. I was named as the 'talkative' girl. It was a 'bad' name and I would get punished at home and school. When I became a teacher I encouraged questioning and I loved the talkative ones! I am so happy that the day has come where teachers have to pause to listen to the student. No longer do the students have to 'fear' the teacher. And the teacher who listens earns the respect.

Like the pawn broker who was cleaning out his shop and dumping the litter on the road. Like the party worker's car having the party flag goes past toll gates without paying. Like the father who will pay 7 lakhs to admit his daughter in a deemed university! Like the men who spit out anywhere and everywhere. Like the rich kid who thinks he can get away from law because he drives an Audi! Like the man who has bought just 2 items expects to be billed before you just because your cart is full!

As I stopped at the traffic signal, I glanced idly around. I could see a rush at the street  juice stall. People were searching for an inch of shade. The bikers removed their helmets. The pillion riders were sweating out more. The poor traffic cop was having the toughest time- battling the heat in his starched uniform day long. The dog ambled lazily, with its tongue out. I sat in my little car comfortable for the aircon was on. It hit me hard. How privileged I am... I may not have an Audi or BMW but I have a car and I am enjoying its cool confines. So do many of us. Yet do we pause to reflect on our gifts? Do we think of reaching out to help the lesser privileged? If you do not know how to do so then do visit www.help2grow.org

We always think of politicians as corrupt and dishonest. Just as movies reflect the society or vice versa,  it is the same with our government and us. How can the minister be so corrupt? How can the CEO of a popular paper be so dishonets? These questions flood us. The truth is dishonesty runs across all of us irrespective of gender, religion, caste and social rank. I have seen them all- helicopter parents, fussy parents, permissive, authoritarian, authoritative but the ones who baffled me the most were the ones who were ready to compromise on integrity for the sake of their wards and themselves. There was this unassuming, middle class man who had come to drop off his son for the entrance exam. He looked desperate. His son had failed in the first attempt. The beauty of the architecture entrance exam is that one can attempt the exam any number of times. I tried telling this to the father. I tried to tell him that there are almost 50 colleges offering the course.There was noth...

Here is a group pf parents/adults who are so nervous and worried that they transmit this behaviour to their wards. They reduce themselves and their wards to nervous wrecks before an exam. Papers go flying. Pens slip. Bagas are searched a million times. They will keep assuring themselves and their wards zany number of times! They will keep seeing off their wards ( bye bye)  into the exam hall ( the next room from where they sit). If we ask the wards  to sign on a given document they will stare at the document as if expecting an alien to come up and guide them!! Then the fuss-drama begins all over again... For god sake grow up parents.. I want your wards to grow up too.